Twains Letters vol 5 1901-1906 | Page 5

to see it in print before I die. I planned it 15
years ago, and wrote it in '98. I've often tried to read it to Livy, but she
won't have it; it makes her melancholy. The truth always has that effect

on people. Would have, anyway, if they ever got hold of a rag of
it--Which they don't.
You are supposing that I am supposing that I am moved by a Large
Patriotism, and that I am distressed because our President has
blundered up to his neck in the Philippine mess; and that I am grieved
because this great big ignorant nation, which doesn't know even the A
B C facts of the Philippine episode, is in disgrace before the sarcastic
world--drop that idea! I care nothing for the rest--I am only distressed
and troubled because I am befouled by these things. That is all. When I
search myself away down deep, I find this out. Whatever a man feels or
thinks or does, there is never any but one reason for it--and that is a
selfish one.
At great inconvenience, and expense of precious time I went to the
chief synagogue the other night and talked in the interest of a charity
school of poor Jew girls. I know--to the finest, shades--the selfish ends
that moved me; but no one else suspects. I could give you the details if
I had time. You would perceive how true they are.
I've written another article; you better hurry down and help Livy
squelch it.
She's out pottering around somewhere, poor housekeeping slave; and
Clara is in the hands of the osteopath, getting the bronchitis pulled and
hauled out of her. It was a bad attack, and a little disquieting. It came
day before yesterday, and she hasn't sat up till this afternoon. She is
getting along satisfactorily, now. Lots of love to you all. MARK
Mark Twain's religion had to do chiefly with humanity in its present
incarnation, and concerned itself very little with any possible measure
of reward or punishment in some supposed court of the hereafter.
Nevertheless, psychic investigation always interested him, and he was
good-naturedly willing to explore, even hoping, perhaps, to be
convinced that individuality continues beyond death. The letter which
follows indicates his customary attitude in relation to spiritualistic
research. The experiments here mentioned, however, were not
satisfactory.
To Mrs. Charles McQuiston:
DOBBS FERRY, N. Y. March 26, 1901. DEAR MRS.
McQUISTON,--I have never had an experience which moved me to
believe the living can communicate with the dead, but my wife and I

have experimented in the matter when opportunity offered and shall
continue to do so.
I enclose a letter which came this morning--the second from the same
source. Mrs. K----is a Missourian, and lately she discovered, by
accident, that she was a remarkable hypnotiser. Her best subject is a
Missouri girl, Miss White, who is to come here soon and sustain strictly
scientific tests before professors at Columbia University. Mrs. Clemens
and I intend to be present. And we shall ask the pair to come to our
house to do whatever things they can do. Meantime, if you thought well
of it, you might write her and arrange a meeting, telling her it is by my
suggestion and that I gave you her address.
Someone has told me that Mrs. Piper is discredited. I cannot be sure,
but I think it was Mr. Myers, President of the London Psychical
Research Society--we heard of his death yesterday. He was a
spiritualist. I am afraid he was a very easily convinced man. We visited
two mediums whom he and Andrew Lang considered quite wonderful,
but they were quite transparent frauds.
Mrs. Clemens corrects me: One of those women was a fraud, the other
not a fraud, but only an innocent, well-meaning, driveling vacancy.
Sincerely yours, S. L. CLEMENS.
In Mark Twain's Bermuda chapters entitled Idle Notes of an Idle
Excursion he tells of an old sea captain, one Hurricane Jones, who
explained biblical miracles in a practical, even if somewhat startling,
fashion. In his story of the prophets of Baal, for instance, the old
captain declared that the burning water was nothing more nor less than
petroleum. Upon reading the "notes," Professor Phelps of Yale wrote
that the same method of explaining miracles had been offered by Sir
Thomas Browne.
Perhaps it may be added that Captain Hurricane Jones also appears in
Roughing It, as Captain Ned Blakely.
To Professor William Lyon Phelps;
YALE UNIVERSITY, NEW YORK, April 24, 1901. MY DEAR
SIR,--I was not aware that old Sir Thomas had anticipated that story,
and I am much obliged to you for furnishing me the paragraph. t is
curious that the same idea should leave entered two heads so unlike as
the head of that wise