The Works of John Dryden, Volume 6 | Page 6

his destiny.
_Gerv._ I know the reason why I am kept; because you cannot be discovered by my means; for you took me up in France, and your father knows me not.
_Wood._ I must have a ramble in the town: When I have spent my money, I will grow dutiful, see my father, and ask for more. In the mean time, I have beheld a handsome woman at a play, I am fallen in love with her, and have found her easy: Thou, I thank thee, hast traced her to her lodging in this boarding-house, and hither I am come, to accomplish my design.
_Gerv._ Well, heaven mend all. I hear our landlady's voice without; [_Noise._] and therefore shall defer my counsel to a fitter season.
_Wood._ Not a syllable of counsel: The next grave sentence, thou marchest after Giles. Woodall's my name; remember that.
Enter Mrs SAINTLY.
Is this the lady of the house?
_Gerv._ Yes, Mr Woodall, for want of a better, as she will tell you.
_Wood._ She has a notable smack with her! I believe zeal first taught the art of kissing close. [_Saluting her._
_Saint._ You are welcome, gentleman. Woodall is your name?
_Wood._ I call myself so.
_Saint._ You look like a sober discreet gentleman; there is grace in your countenance.
_Wood._ Some sprinklings of it, madam: We must not boast.
_Saint._ Verily, boasting is of an evil principle.
_Wood._ Faith, madam--
_Saint._ No swearing, I beseech you. Of what church are you?
_Wood._ Why, of Covent-Garden church, I think.
_Gerv._ How lewdly and ignorantly he answers! [_Aside_] She means, of what religion are you?
_Wood._ O, does she so?--Why, I am of your religion, be it what it will; I warrant it a right one: I'll not stand with you for a trifle; presbyterian, independent, anabaptist, they are all of them too good for us, unless we had the grace to follow them.
_Saint._ I see you are ignorant; but verily, you are a new vessel, and I may season you. I hope you do not use the parish-church.
_Wood._ Faith, madam--cry you mercy; (I forgot again) I have been in England but five days.
_Saint._ I find a certain motion within me to this young man, and must secure him to myself, ere he see my lodgers. [_Aside._]--O, seriously, I had forgotten; your trunk and portmantua are standing in the hall; your lodgings are ready, and your man may place them, if he please, while you and I confer together.
_Wood._ Go, Gervase, and do as you are directed. [Exit GER.
_Saint._ In the first place, you must know, we are a company of ourselves, and expect you should live conformably and lovingly amongst us.
_Wood._ There you have hit me. I am the most loving soul, and shall be conformable to all of you.
_Saint._ And to me especially. Then, I hope, you are no keeper of late hours.
_Wood._ No, no, my hours are very early; betwixt three and four in the morning, commonly.
_Saint._ That must be amended; but, to remedy the inconvenience, I will myself sit up for you. I hope, you would not offer violence to me?
_Wood._ I think I should not, if I were sober.
_Saint._ Then, if you were overtaken, and should offer violence, and I consent not, you may do your filthy part, and I am blameless.
_Wood._ [_Aside._] I think the devil's in her; she has given me the hint again.--Well, it shall go hard, but I will offer violence sometimes; will that content you?
_Saint._ I have a cup of cordial water in my closet, which will help to strengthen nature, and to carry off a debauch: I do not invite you thither; but the house will be safe a-bed, and scandal will be avoided.
_Wood._ Hang scandal; I am above it at those times.
_Saint._ But scandal is the greatest part of the offence; you must be secret. And I must warn you of another thing; there are, besides myself, two more young women in my house.
_Wood._ [_Aside._] That, besides herself, is a cooling card.--Pray, how young are they?
_Saint._ About my age: some eighteen, or twenty, or thereabouts.
_Wood._ Oh, very good! Two more young women besides yourself, and both handsome?
_Saint._ No, verily, they are painted outsides; you must not cast your eyes upon them, nor listen to their conversation: You are already chosen for a better work.
_Wood._ I warrant you, let me alone: I am chosen, I.
_Saint._ They are a couple of alluring wanton minxes.
_Wood._ Are they very alluring, say you? very wanton?
_Saint._ You appear exalted, when I mention those pit-falls of iniquity.
_Wood._ Who, I exalted? Good faith, I am as sober, a melancholy poor soul!--
_Saint._ I see this abominable sin of swearing is rooted in you. Tear it out; oh, tear it out! it will destroy your precious soul.
_Wood._ I find we two shall scarce agree: I must not come to your closet when I have got a bottle; for, at