The Turkish Jester | Page 3

'What do you want with my ox?' 'Don't you interfere, you foolish dog,' said the Cogia. 'He knows full well what he has done.'
One day the Cogia made his last will. 'When I die,' said he, 'place me in an old tomb.' When the people about him said, 'Why do you make this request?' the Cogia said, 'When the inquiring angels come and ask me questions, I can say, "I am deaf. Do you not see that I as well as my tomb am old?"'
One day Cogia Efendi, putting on very short habiliments, went to the mosque to say his prayers. Whilst performing the rakoua the man who was behind him perceiving the Cogia's --- seized hold of them and squeezed them, whereupon the Cogia, seizing hold of those of the man who was before him, squeezed them too; the man, turning round and perceiving that it was Cogia Efendi himself, said, 'Halloa, what are you about?' 'You must ask the man behind me,' said the Cogia.
One day the boys of Belgrade took the Cogia along with them into the bath. They had secretly brought in their pouches a number of eggs. One and all going into the bathing-house, took off their clothes and went in, and then, sitting down on the bench, they all said to one another, 'Come, let us lay eggs: whosoever does not lay an egg shall pay the expenses of the bath'; {p:260} after which they began to make a great noise, cackling like hens, and flinging the eggs which they had brought on the stone bench. Cogia Efendi, seeing what they were about, suddenly began to make a great noise and crow like a cock. 'What are you about, Cogia Efendi?' said the boys. 'Why,' said he, 'is not a cock necessary where there are so many hens?'
One day the Cogia, putting on black clothes, went out. The people, looking at him, said, 'Cogia Efendi, for whose death are you in mourning?' The Cogia answered, 'My son's father is dead, and I wear mourning for him.'
One day Cogia, returning from the harvest field, felt very thirsty. Looking around, he saw that they watered a tree by means of a pipe from a fountain. The Cogia exclaimed, 'I must drink,' and pulled at the spout, and as he did so the water, spouting forth with violence, wetted the mouth and head of the Cogia, who, in a great rage, said, 'They watered this wretched tree in order that one fool might wet another.'
One day the Cogia, taking some water melons with him, went to the mountain in order to cut wood. Feeling thirsty, he cut one of the melons, and, putting it to his mouth, cast it away, saying that it was tasteless. He then cut up another, and, to be short, he cut them all up, and, having {p:261} eaten a little of each, made water over what remained. He then fell to work at cutting wood. After some time the Cogia again became thirsty, and finding no water, he went to the bits of the melons which he had cut up, and saying, 'This is sprinkled, and this is sprinkled,' ate them all.
Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi had a lamb which he had fattened to a high degree. One day some of his friends having assembled, said, 'Let us get the lamb from the Cogia and feast upon it.' So coming to the Cogia as quick as possible, they said, 'O Cogia, to-morrow is the Day of Judgment; what would you do with this lamb? Come, take it, and let us eat it.' The Cogia, however, would not believe them. Coming again, however, they said the same thing, and the Cogia, at last believing their words were true, slaughtered the lamb, and, taking it on his back, he carried it to the public walk, and, lighting a fire, he began to prepare a roast. Presently, stripping their bodies, they delivered their clothes to the Cogia, and each went aside to sleep. Whereupon the Cogia, taking their garments, flung them all into the fire and burnt them. In a little time, their bellies becoming hungry from the sleep they had had, they came again, and saw that their garments were nearly reduced to a coal. Whereupon they said to the Cogia, 'Who burnt our clothes?' 'My dear friends,' replied the Cogia, 'to-morrow is the Day of Resurrection, so what need can you have of clothes?' {p:262}
One day a thief, entering the house of the Cogia, laid hold of everything there was there, and, placing it on his back, went away. The Cogia, however, spying somebody going out, followed the thief, who went into his own house. The Cogia following close behind, pushed against him at the door. Whereupon the thief said, 'What do you want,