The Turkish Jester | Page 2

about?' and fell to beating him. The Cogia said, 'Oh what a fine country is this of Conia, in which, whilst a man eats a tart, they put in a blow as a digester for every morsel.' {p:256}
Cogia Nasr Eddin, at the time of the Holy Ramadan, thought to himself, 'What must I do in order to hold the fast in conformity with the people? I must prepare an earthen pot, and every day put a stone into it, and when thirty days are completed I may hold my Beiram.' So he commenced placing stones in the pot, one every day. Now it happened one day that a daughter of the Cogia cast a handful of stones into the pot, and a little time after some people asked the Cogia, 'What day of the month is it to- day?' Now it happened to be the twenty-fifth. The Cogia, however, said to them, 'Have patience and I will see'; and going to his house and emptying the pot, perceived that there were a hundred and twenty stones in it. Says the Cogia to himself, 'If I tell the people all this number they will call me a fool.' So going to them he said, 'This day is the forty-fifth day of the month.' But, said they, 'O Cogia, a month has in all but thirty days, so how can you say that to-day is the forty-fifth?' 'I spoke quite within bounds,' said the Cogia. 'If you were to see the account in the pot you would find that to-day is the hundred and twentieth.'
One day the Cogia was asked, 'When there is a new moon, what becomes of the old one?' 'They make forty stars out of each,' said the Cogia.
One day the Cogia went out of the city along with a cafila or caravan of people, and felt a {p:257} wish to ride. Now there was a camel belonging to the cafila, and the Cogia said to himself, 'Now, if instead of walking I should mount on this camel, how comfortably could I travel!' Thereupon mounting on the camel, he proceeded along with the cafila. The camel, however, falling to kicking, flung the Cogia to the earth and knelt upon him. The Cogia cried out loudly, and the people of the cafila came and rescued him. After a little time the Cogia, coming to his senses, said, 'O Mussulmen, did you not see how that perfidious camel maltreated me? Now do hold the perfidious brute for me, that I may cut its throat.'
One day the Cogia bought a quantity of eggs at the rate of nine for the aspre, and carrying them to another place, he sold them at the rate of ten. Some people asking him, 'Why do you sell ten for what you gave for nine?' the Cogia replied, 'I always wish my friends to see that I lose by my bargains.'
One day the Cogia walking along the plain met a heifer, and forthwith laying thievish hands upon it, led it straight to his house, where he slaughtered it and stripped off the skin. The proprietor soon appeared before the Cogia's house, making a loud cry and lamentation. 'Who would have thought,' said the Cogia to his people and his wife, 'that my flaying the heifer would have made that fellow's face look so black?' {p:258}
One day the Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi passing along the bazaar, an individual coming up to him said, 'Pray, Cogia, what is the moon to-day? Is it at three or four?' 'I don't know,' said the Cogia. 'I neither buy nor sell the moon.'
One day the Cogia taking a ladder on his shoulder, placed it against a garden wall, and mounting, got over, taking the ladder with him. The gardener seeing him said, 'Who are you? and what do you want here?' 'I am come to sell this ladder,' said the Cogia without hesitation. 'Is this a place for selling a ladder?' said the gardener. 'O you foolish man,' said the Cogia, 'cannot a ladder be sold anywhere?'
Nasr Eddin Efendi one day taking hold of some fowls one by one, tied some strips of an apron round their throats, and then let them go. The learned men having assembled round the Cogia, said, 'What was the matter with these fowls?' Said the Cogia, 'They merely went into mourning for their slaughtered mothers.'
One day a bull mounted a young cow of the Cogia's. The Cogia seeing what he was about, took a staff in his hand and ran towards him. The bull fled towards the car of a Turcoman, to which seven other oxen were attached. The Cogia keeping the ox in view, ran after him, and with the staff in his hand struck the ox several blows. 'Halloa, man!' said the Turcoman. {p:259}