The Turkish Jester | Page 8

the muslin of his
turban, perceived that it was not long enough; he again tried all he
could to bring it to a point, but in vain. The Cogia in great distress took
the muslin, and going to the public mart, put it up to auction. Whilst it
was being bid for, a person came and bought it. Whereupon the Cogia
going softly up to him, said, 'Brother, don't take that thick thing; it is
too short for a turban; you can't bring it to a point.'
One day an individual coming to the Cogia said, 'Something for my
good news, Cogia Efendi. You have a son born to you.' 'If I have a son
born to me,' said the Cogia, 'I owe thanks to God, but what do I owe to
you?'
One day a man coming to the Cogia asked him for the loan of his ass.
'Stay here,' said the Cogia, 'whilst I go and consult the animal. If the ass
is willing to be lent, I will let you have him.' Thereupon he went in, and
after staying for a time came out and said, 'The ass is not willing, and
has said to me, "If you lend me to others I shall overhear all the evil
things that they say of your wife."'
One day the Cogia, mounting his ass, set off for his garden; on the road,
wanting to make water, he took off his woollen vest, and placing it on
the pack-saddle of his ass, he went aside. A thief coming up took the
woollen vest and ran away with it. The Cogia returning saw that the
vest was gone; whereupon taking the pack-saddle from the back of the
ass, he put it upon his own shoulders, and giving the ass a cut with his
whip, he said, 'You lost my vest, so I take your saddle.'
One day Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi, mounting his ass, again set out; on
the way, wanting to make water, he again laid his vest upon the ass,
and went aside. A person who had his eye upon him, instantly seized
the vest and ran away; just at that time the ass began to bray. The Cogia
hearing him, shouted out, 'The ass brays: the ass cries--no good sign.'
The person, however, hearing the braying and the shouting, cast the
vest upon the ground and made his escape.
One day Cogia Efendi, having lost his ass, inquired of a certain
individual whether he had seen him. 'I saw him,' said the individual, 'in

a certain town, officiating as Cadi.' 'You say true,' said the Cogia, 'I
knew he would be a Cadi, for I observed when I taught him the
principles of philosophy, that his ears were not sewed up.'
One day Nasr Eddin Efendi went to the mountain to cut wood; after he
had cut the wood he loaded his ass, and began to drive him home. The
Efendi's ass, however, would hardly move. A person coming up, said,
'Put a little sal ammoniac into the --- of the ass.' The Cogia finding a
little sal ammoniac, put it in; whereupon the ass began to run so quickly
that the Cogia was left far behind. 'I would fain see the cause of this,'
said the Cogia, and clapped a little of the sal ammoniac to his own ---.
No sooner had he done so than the Cogia's posterior began to swell, and
he set off running so quickly that he soon got before the ass, and ran
straight home, but not being able to contain himself in the house, he ran
about it, and observing his wife, he said, 'O wife, whenever you wish
me to get me on, do you stick a little sal ammoniac in my ---.'
One day a man came to the house of the Cogia and asked him to lend
him his ass. 'He is not at home,' replied the Cogia. But it so happened
that the ass began to bray within. 'O Cogia Efendi,' said the man, 'you
say that the ass is not at home, and there he is braying within.' 'What a
strange fellow you are!' said the Cogia. 'You believe the ass, but will
not believe a grey-bearded man like me.'
One day the Cogia said to his wife, 'O wife, how do you know when a
man is dead?' 'I know it by his hands and feet being cold,' said she. One
day as the Cogia was going to the mountain for wood, he felt cold in
his hands and feet; whereupon he said, 'I am a dead man,' and laid
himself down at the foot of a tree. Some wolves, however, coming up
and beginning to devour his ass, the Cogia shouted to the wolves from