The Turkish Jester | Page 7

says that the pelisse which
you see on my back, and the mule on which I am mounted, are also his.'
'Yes, assuredly, my Lord,' said the Jew, 'for mine they are both.' No
sooner had he said these words than every one cried out, 'Upon you,
you Jew rascal,' and, rushing upon him, they broke his head and kicked
him out of the tribunal, and the Cogia was sent home to his house in
triumph, not only with the altoons but the pelisse and the mule beside.
One day Cogia Efendi went to a bridal festival. The master of the feast
observing his old and wretched garments, paid him no consideration
whatever. The Cogia saw that he had no chance of notice; so going out
he hurried to his house, and putting on a splendid pelisse, returned to
the place of festival. No sooner did he enter the door than the master
advanced to meet him, and saying, 'Welcome, Cogia Efendi,' with all
imaginable honour and reverence placed him at the head of the table,
and said, 'Please to eat, Lord Cogia.' Forthwith the Cogia taking hold of
one of the furs of his pelisse, said, 'Welcome, my pelisse, please to eat,
my lord.' The master looking at the Cogia with great surprise, said,
'What are you about?' Whereupon the Cogia replied, 'It is quite evident
that all the honour paid is paid to my pelisse, so let it have some food
too.'
Nasr Eddin Efendi going one day into a city, found the doctors of the
law eating and drinking; no sooner did they see the Cogia than they
showed him great honour, and brought him food. It happened that that
year was a year of famine, and the Cogia whilst eating and drinking,
said to himself, 'No doubt this city must be one in which provisions are
very cheap,' and asked a man who was by him whether it were not so.

The man replied, 'Are you mad? this day is Beiram, every one
according to his means cooks meat in his house and brings it forth, and
on that account the food is plentiful.' 'Ah, my good man,' said the Cogia,
'I wish that every day was Beiram.'
One day Cogia Efendi led a cow to the market for sale; backwards and
forwards he led it, but was unable to sell it; presently a man advancing
to the Cogia, said, 'Why do you hold this cow in your hand without
selling it?' Said the Cogia, 'I have led it about since the morning, and
notwithstanding all the fine things that I have said about it I have been
unable to sell it.' The individual taking the cow from the Cogia's hand,
began to walk it about, exclaiming, 'Who will buy a young girl six
months gone with child?' Forthwith buyers followed at his heels, and a
very considerable sum was offered. The Cogia, very much surprised,
took the money for the cow, and went running to his house. The
inspectors, however, coming, took away the Cogia's daughter,
whereupon his wife said, 'O Cogia, do you stay a little. The inspecting
matrons have been for the girl. I will now go to them, and will give the
necessary character, so that they will take our daughter, being satisfied
with what I say.' Quoth the Cogia Efendi, 'No, no, wife, do not open
your mouth. I have now learnt various praises fitted for her. I will go
and tell them. Do you see how they will be pleased with them.' So he
went to the inspecting matrons, who, as soon as they saw him, said, 'O
Cogia Efendi, what have you to do with us matrons? Get you gone, and
let the girl's mother come.' Said the Cogia Efendi, 'It is not the duty of
the girl's mother to give information with respect to any talents which
the girl may possess. Whatever questions you may have to ask with
respect to the talents we may have observed, do you ask of me.' Quoth
the matrons, 'Let us hear you dilate a little on her talents.' 'Ladies,' said
the Cogia, 'if the girl is not six months gone with child, she is my
property.' The ladies on hearing this looked at each other, and getting
up went away. Said the Cogia's wife, 'O Cogia, why did you drive the
matrons away by using such words to them?' 'Don't you fear, wife,' said
the Cogia, 'if they go through the whole country they will not find a girl
of this description; so let them go and come back. But to tell you the
truth, if I had not praised the cow in this manner, I should have found
no purchaser for her.'

One day Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi, as he was winding