The Triple Marriage | Page 7

discovers the mystery, my master will be
disinherited-- there it is, more or less.
Anna The deuce!
Trim And I, on the other hand, will inherit a beating. I don't like the
idea of such a windfall.
Anna You are only exciting my curiosity. Where have you been?
Trim We were-- Shh! Here comes the old man. I've got to pacify him
adroitly on this subject. Leave us--I will join you as soon as I can.
(Exit Anna. Enter Matthews without seeing Trim.)
Matthews To play me such a trick!
Trim (aside) He seems to be in a rage.
Matthews To try to put one over on me with such effrontery--a story
like that.
Trim Have we been found out?
Matthews To have the audacity to say he came from Cliffordshire
Manor.
Trim The mine is blown.
Matthews I wish to know if that devil Trim will also have the
effrontery to pass this imposture off on me.

Trim He knows everything.
Matthews (seeing Trim) Please? Ah, you here. I'm very glad to find you,
Mr. Scamp.
Trim Good day, sir, how are you?
Matthews That has nothing to do with your business.
Trim Pardon, sir. The interest that I take in your precious health from
the moment that I am separated from you, creates in my foreboding
heart, sentiments of the most lively tenderness, and delivers it into the
turmoil of the excess of both tender and passionate emotions. Now, you
are well, and I rejoice over it.
Matthews Double crosser! It's not a question of this gammon you are
telling me.
Trim Anything you please. What is it a question of?
Matthews Tell me where my son has been for the last week!
Trim Didn't he tell you?
Matthews He told me that he was at Cliffordshire Manor.
Trim Well, that's the truth.
Matthews Didn't I predict you would tell me that?
Trim Yes, I said so, and I will continue to say so. When I tell the truth,
I fear nobody.
Matthews I have to admire the effrontery of this gallows-bird.
Trim (wishing to escape) Oh--if you're getting irritated.
Matthews Stay put, or I'll brain you.
Trim Is there something I can do to serve you? You have only to speak.
Matthews And you, you have only two choices to make.
Trim Let us see.
Matthews Take two pounds or be pounded on the head twenty times.
Trim Simple choice. I'll take the two pounds.
Matthews (giving him money) Here they are.
Trim Thank you, sir. I wish you a good day.
Matthews (astounded) You're going somewhere?
Trim Yes, indeed. Didn't I choose?
Matthews And have you told me what I want to know?
Trim What sir?
Matthews Where did you spend the entire week? I know that it wasn't
at Cliffordshire Manor. Clifford's aunt, the Countess, has come. She
was staying with Clifford for two weeks, and she just told me that my

son had not put in an appearance.
Trim She wouldn't dare to say that to my face.
Matthews That we'll see. She's still here.
Trim Oh, if she's still here, I have nothing to say. I cannot tell a woman
of her quality that she's crazy.
Matthews You're trying to put me off the scent. But you won't succeed.
I'm on my guard. Come on, tell the truth.
Trim Oh, willingly! It's my character to tell the truth.
Matthews You sanctimonious hypocrite!
Trim So, to tell you exactly--
Matthews The double crosser is going to lie! But, reckon, that will
serve nothing. I know where you were.
Trim If you know, why do you ask me?
Matthews I want to hear it from your own mouth.
Trim Oh, fie, sir! Where is honor, where is probity? I give the word of
a gentleman. Admit to me that you know nothing if I keep silent.
Matthews' If you keep silent, I will roast you.
Trim They will be blows wasted. I have shoulders equal to any beating.
I am of the race of sergeants and blows cannot frighten an illustrious
member of my family.
Matthews A singularly well-bred villain.
Trim It is I who have an interest to make you admit that you are totally
ignorant of where we have been.
Matthews Why?
Trim Because I am sensible of the honor. I want to be able to boast that
you have caught me, and gained nothing from your money.
Matthews Well, I admit that all I know is that you were not where you
said.
Trim You don't know any more than that?
Matthews No, that's the truth.
Trim So much the better! May the plague choke me if I tell you any
more.
Matthews You won't speak?
Trim Here's your money. I have the right to keep my mouth shut.
Matthews And, I have the