The Tales of the Heptameron, Vol. V | Page 6

will tell it you."
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[Illustration: 015a.jpg The Gentleman and his Friend annoyed by The Smell of that which they Thought was Sugar]
[The Gentleman and his Friend annoyed by The Smell of that which they Thought was Sugar]
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TALE LII.
_An apothecary s man, espying behind him an advocate who was to plague him, and on whom he desired to be revenged, dropped from his sleeve a lump of frozen ordure, wrapped in paper like a sugar-loaf, which a gentleman who was with the advocate picked up and hid in his bosom, and then went to breakfast at a tavern, whence he came forth with all the cost and shame that he had thought to bring upon the poor varlet_.
Near the town of Alen?on there lived a gentleman called the Lord of La Tireliere, who one morning came from his house to the town afoot, both because the distance was not great and because it was freezing hard. (1) When he had done his business, he sought out a crony of his, an advocate named Anthony Bacher��, and, after speaking with him of his affairs, he told him that he should much like to meet with a good breakfast, but at somebody else's expense. While thus discussing, they sat themselves down in front of an apothecary's shop, where there was a varlet who listened to them, and who forthwith resolved to give them their breakfast.
1 The phraseology of this story varies considerably in the different MSS. of the Heptameron. In No. 1520, for instance, the tale begins as follows: "In the town of Alen?on, in the time of the last Duke Charles, there was an advocate, a merry companion, fond of breakfasting o' mornings. One day, whilst he sat at his door, he saw pass a gentleman called the Lord of La Tilleriere, who, by reason of the extreme cold, had come on foot from his house to the town in order to attend to certain business there, and in doing so had not forgotten to put on his great robe, lined with fox-skin. And when he saw the advocate, who was much such a man as himself, he told him that he had completed his business, and had nothing further to do, except it were to find a good breakfast. The advocate made answer that they could find breakfasts enough and to spare, provided they had some one to defray the cost, and, taking the other under the arm, he said to him, 'Come, gossip, we may perhaps find some fool who will pay the reckoning for us both.' Now behind them was an apothecary's man, an artful and inventive fellow, whom this advocate was always plaguing," &c.--L.
He went out from his shop into a street whither all repaired on needful occasions, (2) and there found a large lump of ordure standing on end, and so well frozen that it looked like a small loaf of fine sugar. Forthwith he wrapped it in handsome white paper, in the manner he was wont to use for the attraction of customers, and hid it in his sleeve.
2 In olden time, as shown in the _M��moires de l'Acad��mie de Troyes_, there were in most French towns streets specially set aside for the purpose referred to. At Alen?on, in Queen Margaret's time, there was a street called the Rue des Fumiers, as appears from a report dated March 8, 1564 (Archives of the Orne, Series A). Probably it is to this street that she alludes. (Communicated by M. L. Duval, archivist of the department of the Orne).--M.
Afterwards he came and passed in front of the gentleman and the advocate, and, letting the sugar-loaf (3) fall near them, as if by mischance, went into a house whither he had pretended to be carrying it.
The Lord of La Tireli��re (4) hastened back with all speed to pick up what he thought to be a sugar-loaf, and just as he had done so the apothecary's man also came back looking and asking for his sugar everywhere.
3 M. Duval, archivist of the Orne, states that La Tireli��re, which is situated near St. Germain-du-Corbois, within three miles of Alen?on, is an old gentilhommi��re or manor-house, surrounded by a moat. It was originally a simple vavassonrie held in fief from the Counts and Dukes of Alen?on by the Pantolf and Crouches families, and in the seventeenth century was merged into the marquisate of L'Isle.--M.
4 Sugar was at this period sold by apothecaries, and was a rare and costly luxury. There were loaves of various sizes, but none so large as those of the present time.--M.
The gentleman, thinking that he had cleverly tricked him, then went in haste to a tavern with his crony, to whom he said--
"Our breakfast has been paid for at the cost of that varlet."
When