The Symposium | Page 5

to perpetrate a jest. Failing to stir a smile, poor fellow, he made no secret of his perturbation. Presently he tried again; and for the second time the joke fell flat. Whereat he paused abruptly in the middle of the course, and muffling up his face, fell prostrate on the couch.
Then Callias: What ails you, sirrah? Have you the cramp? the toothache? what?
To which the other heaving a deep groan: Yes, Callias, an atrocious ache; since laughter has died out among mankind, my whole estate is bankrupt.[30] In old days I would be asked to dinner to amuse the company with jests.[31] Now all is changed, and who will be at pains to ask me out to dinner any more? I might as well pretend to be immortal as to be serious. Nor will any one invite me in hopes of reclining at my board in his turn. Everyone knows so serious a thing as dinner in my house was never heard of; it's against the rules--the more's the pity.
[30] Cf. "Cyrop." VI. i. 3; Plat. "Laws," 677 C.
[31] Lit. "by the laughter which I stirred in them."
And as he spoke he blew his nose and snuffled, uttering the while so truly dolorous a moan[32] that everybody fell to soothing him. "They would all laugh again another day," they said, and so implored him to have done and eat his dinner; till Critobulus could not stand his lamentation longer, but broke into a peal of laughter. The welcome sound sufficed. The sufferer unveiled his face, and thus addressed his inner self:[33] "Be of good cheer, my soul, there are many battles[34] yet in store for us," and so he fell to discussing the viands once again.
[32] Philippus would seem to have anticipated Mr. Woodward; see Prologue to "She Stoops to Conquer":
Pray, would you know the reason I'm crying? The Comic Muse long sick is now a-dying! And if she goes . . .
[33] Cf. "Cyrop." I. iv. 13; Eur. "Med." 1056, 1242; Aristoph. "Ach." 357, 480.
[34] Or add, "ere we have expended our last shot." Philippus puns on the double sense of {sumbolai}. Cf. Aristoph. "Ach." 1210, where Lamachus groans {talas ego xumboles bareias}, and Dicaeopolis replies {tois Khousi gar tis xumbolas epratteto}.
Lam. 'Twas at the final charge; I'd paid before A number of the rogues; at least a score. Dic. It was a most expensive charge you bore: Poor Lamachus! he was forced to pay the score.
H. Frere.

II
Now the tables were removed, and in due order they had poured out the libation, and had sung the hymn.[1] To promote the revelry, there entered now a Syracusan, with a trio of assistants: the first, a flute-girl, perfect in her art; and next, a dancing-girl, skilled to perform all kinds of wonders; lastly, in the bloom of beauty, a boy, who played the harp and danced with infinite grace. This Syracusan went about exhibiting his troupe, whose wonderful performance was a source of income to him.
[1] See Plat. "Symp." 176 A; Athen. ix. 408.
After the girl had played to them upon the flute, and then the boy in turn upon the harp, and both performers, as it would appear, had set the hearts of every one rejoicing, Socrates turned to Callias:
A feast, upon my word, O princeliest entertainer![2] Was it not enough to set before your guests a faultless dinner, but you must feast our eyes and ears on sights and sounds the most delicious?
[2] Lit. "in consummate style."
To which the host: And that reminds me, a supply of unguents might not be amiss;[3] what say you? Shall we feast on perfumes also?[4]
[3] Lit. "suppose I tell the servant to bring in some perfumes, so that we may further feast on fragrance . . ." Cf. Theophr. "Char." vii. 6 (Jebb ad loc.)
[4] See Athen. xv. 686.
No, I protest (the other answered). Scents resemble clothes. One dress is beautiful on man and one on woman; and so with fragrance: what becomes the woman, ill becomes the man. Did ever man anoint himself with oil of myrrh to please his fellow? Women, and especially young women (like our two friends' brides, Niceratus' and Critobulus'), need no perfume, being but compounds themselves of fragrance.[5] No, sweeter than any perfume else to women is good olive-oil, suggestive of the training-school:[6] sweet if present, and when absent longed for. And why? Distinctions vanish with the use of perfumes. The freeman and the slave have forthwith both alike one odour. But the scents derived from toils--those toils which every free man loves[7]-- need customary habit first, and time's distillery, if they are to be sweet with freedom's breath, at last.[8]
[5] Cf. Solomon's Song, iv. 10: "How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of