The Story of the Gadsby | Page 6

my word, I don't. You dance beautifully.
Miss T. Then why do you always stand out after half a dozen turns? I
thought officers in the Army didn't tell fibs.

CAPT. G. It wasn't a fib, believe me. I really do want the pleasure of a
dance with you.
Miss T. (Wickedly.) Why? Won't Mamma dance with you any more?
CAPT. G. (More earnestly than the necessity demands.) I wasn't
thinking of your Mother. (Aside.) You little vixen!
Miss T. (Still looking out of the window.) Eh? Oh, I beg your par don. I
was thinking of something else.
CAPT. G. (Aside.) Well! I wonder what she'll say next. I've never
known a woman treat me like this before. I might be--Dash it, I might
be an Infantry subaltern! (Aloud.) Oh, please don't trouble. I'm not
worth thinking about. Isn't your Mother ready yet?
Miss T. I should think so; but promise me, Captain Gadsby, you won't
take poor dear Mamma twice round Jakko any more. It tires her so.
CAPT. G. She says that no exercise tires her.
Miss T. Yes, but she suffers afterward. You don't know what
rheumatism is, and you oughtn't to keep her out so late, when it gets
chill in the evenings.
CAPT. G. (Aside.) Rheumatism. I thought she came off her horse
rather in a bunch. Whew! One lives and learns. (Aloud.) I'm sorry to
hear that. She hasn't mentioned it to me.
Miss T. (Flurried.) Of course not! Poor dear Mamma never would. And
you mustn't say that I told you either. Promise me that you won't. Oh,
CAPTAIN Gadsby, promise me you won't I
CAPT. G. I am dumb, or-I shall be as soon as you've given me that
dance, and another-if you can trouble yourself to think about me for a
minute.
Miss T. But you won't like it one little bit. You'll be awfully sorry
afterward.

CAPT. G. I shall like it above all things, and I shall only be sorry that I
didn't get more. (Aside.) Now what in the world am I saying?
Miss T. Very well. You will have only yourself to thank if your toes are
trodden on. Shall we say Seven?
CAPT. G. And Eleven. (Aside.) She can't be more than eight stone, but,
even then, it's an absurdly small foot. (Looks at his own riding boots.)
Miss T. They're beautifully shiny. I can almost see my face in them.
CAPT. G. I was thinking whether I should have to go on crutches for
the rest of my life if you trod on my toes.
Miss T. Very likely. Why not change Eleven for a square?
CAPT. G. No, please! I want them both waltzes. Won't you write them
down?
Miss T. J don't get so many dances that I shall confuse them. You will
be the offender.
CAPT. G. Wait and see! (Aside.) She doesn't dance perfectly, perhaps,
but
Miss T. Your tea must have got cold by this time. Won't you have
another cup?
CAPT. G. No, thanks. Don't you think it's pleasanter out in the veranda?
(Aside.) I never saw hair take that color in the sunshine before. (Aloud.)
It's like one of Dicksee's pictures.
Miss T. Yes I It's a wonderful sunset, isn't it? (Bluntly.) But what do
you know about Dicksee's pictures?
CAPT. G. I go Home occasionally. And I used to know the Galleries.
(Nervously.) You mustn't think me only a Philistine with-a moustache.
Miss T. Don't! Please don't. I'm so sorry for what I said then. I was

horribly rude. It slipped out before j thought. Don't you know the
temptation to say frightful and shocking things just for the mere sake of
saying them? I'm afraid I gave way to it.
CAPT. G. (Watching the girl as she flushes.) I think I know the feeling.
It would be terrible if we all yielded to it, wouldn't it? For instance, I
might say-POOR DEAR MAMMA. (Entering, habited, hatted, and
booted.) Ah, Captain Gadsby? 'Sorry to keep you waiting. 'Hope you
haven't been bored. 'My little girl been talking to you?
Miss T. (Aside.) I'm not sorry I spoke about the rheumatism. I'm not!
I'm NOT! I only wished I'd mentioned the corns too.
CAPT. G. (Aside.) What a shame! I wonder how old she is. It never
occurred to me before. (Aloud.) We've been discussing "Shakespeare
and the musical glasses" in the veranda.
Miss T. (Aside.) Nice man! He knows that quotation. He isn't a
Philistine with a moustache. (Aloud.) Good-bye, Captain Gadsby.
(Aside.) What a huge hand and what a squeeze! I don't suppose he
meant it, but he has driven the rings into my fingers.
POOR DEAR MAMMA. Has Vermillion come round yet? Oh, yes!
Captain Gadsby, don't you think that the saddle is too far forward?
(They