The Spirit of Contradiction | Page 4

marrying my daughter. I need your advice about that matter.
Lucas: I haven't got an idea in my head because I've been fighting with
Madam. That puts me in an uncultivated state--me and my garden. And
besides, she's just discharged me.
Townly: Don't worry about it. Never mind. I'll take care of you.
Lucas: How are you going to take care of me against her--when you
can't take care of yourself? Hey! did I ever tell you that you're too easy
with her? As soon as she says yes or no, you say the same.
Townly: What do you want, Lucas? I love my wife. She has no other
pleasure than to do exactly the opposite of what I want. So I provide
her with that small satisfaction.
Lucas: You do that if that's what you like. But don't worry, her humour
is too settled for it to give her any satisfaction. So much for that, sir. As
to your daughter, I'll be what help I can--but what do you intend to do?
Townly: Well, you see I've got to get my wife to agree--

Lucas: Well, it's not up to me. I've tried to revive your spirit, but you
won't do anything against her.
Townly: Look, you're more imagination than I do. And more sense than
philosophers--who haven't any, really.
Lucas: Wait, sir. There are peasants who are sharp about acquiring
money--but my philosophy is to govern the world like a careful
gardener. You for example, want to marry your daughter but you don't
know to whom. But me, I've seen it all in my garden. As I tell Madam,
trees benefit from the sun; plants from the shade. So you see if your
daughter is ready to benefit from marriage, your wife will put her in a
convent.
Townly: You've said it exactly. If my daughter wishes to get married
she'd better not show it.
Lucas: Madam has already tried to worm it out of me. "But Lucas," she
said to me, "what do you think of this marriage?" "I think nothing,
Madam." "But my daughter, for her part--" "Nothing." "But my
husband, for his part--" Silence. "And because they know I can't
breathe when I'm contradicted, they hide it from me. But it won't work.
And I have tricks for figuring out when I'm being contradicted. It's a
blind alley." What a woman. Very well. Leave it to me to put
everything right. She's coming.
Townly: I will wait for you in the arbor.
(Exit Townly)
Lucas: I'd be very much put out to leave the employ of that bourgeois.
His bourgeois money shines forth more splendidly than the money of
noblemen who have a great deal more.
Mrs. Townly: (entering) Have you just put yourself under the
protection of my husband? He can tell me to keep you, but I am not
going to obey him. Come quickly, give me the keys and then I will give
you your wages.
Lucas: (in a whining tone) I am very upset about losing my situation
with you.
(Then roaring) Ha! Ha! Ha!
Mrs. Townly: You are laughing, eh?
Lucas: (crying) It overwhelms me.
(Roaring) Ha, ha, ha!
Mrs. Townly: What are you getting at?

Lucas: Nothing, nothing, ha, ha, ha.
(Sadly) Here, Madam, I am giving you the keys.
Mrs. Townly: I know why you're laughing.
Lucas: Ha, ha, ha, ha. I can't hold myself in. How nice to be thrown out.
I'm not afraid of you. Ha, ha. I laugh like a merry go round at what you
have done. Ha, ha, ha. Quite frankly, this is something that I expected
for a long time from your difficult temperament and I hope you are
inexorable. I have said to myself, if Madam sees that I want to take my
leave, she won't hear of it. If I ask for my wages, she'll let me fish for
them rather than be of my opinion. Oh, it's much better if I anger her so
she will throw me out.
Mrs. Townly: What! Who says I'm throwing you out?
Lucas: I have quarrelled with you, ha, ha, ha. I'm giving you back your
keys willingly enough.
Mrs. Townly: Oh, I see. To get even you have decided to leave me
without a gardener.
Lucas: That's precisely what I'm going to do.
Mrs. Townly: You can go when I have another.
Lucas: You can have three right away.
Mrs. Townly: Stay at least until tomorrow.
Lucas: Tomorrow you'll no longer be in the mood to throw me out. I
want to quit today.
Mrs. Townly: No! It won't be said that I am your dupe. You wish to
leave me and I do not wish you to leave.
Lucas: One cannot keep people against their will. And you are of such
a disposition.