The Spirit of Contradiction | Page 3

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THE SPIRIT OF CONTRADICTION
BY DUFRESNY
Translated and adapted By Frank J. Morlock

Characters French names
Mr. Townly M. Oronte Mrs. Townly Mme. Oronte Lucas, the gardener
Lucas Angelica Angelique Edward Richly Valere Mr. Nelson M.
Thibaudois Lawyer Notary Lackey Lackey
Six men, two women

The scene is a garden before Mr. Townly's house in London. Lucas, the
gardener enters in a rage.
Lucas: To hell with that bitch and her contradictory nature!
Townly: There, there, Lucas, softly.
Lucas: No, sir. I can no longer put up with your wife's temperament.
Townly: You have to forgive her, because the spirit of contradiction is
natural to her.
Lucas: When she contradicts you like crazy,--you, her husband--that's
natural, huh? Well, maybe. But it isn't natural that she should contradict
my garden.
Townly: Patience, Lucas, patience.
Lucas: To be perfectly frank I don't like being gardener here--or
anywhere there are women. A woman in a garden causes more damage
than a million hedgehogs.
Townly: You're right and my wife is in the wrong.
Lucas: Everything I've planted is torn up. She's replanted all the weeds
I tore out when I was grafting. She said they're wildflowers. Then when
I planted the cabbages she said she now wants lettuces. Nothing is done
by her order that doesn't reverse something I've done. Yesterday she
half buried my prunes under melons. I believe, God pardon me! that it
would be better for me to plant watermelons in the grape arbor.
Townly: She's unreasonable, but let's forget about that, Lucas. Let's talk
about