The Romancers | Page 7

least as great as the most celebrated lovers.
PERCINET. We shall take our place with Romeo and Juliet!
SYLVETTE. Aminta and her shepherd.
PERCINET. Pyramus and Thisbe.
SYLVETTE. And so many others! [They disappear, but their voices are heard outside.]
Voice of PERCINET. Francesca and Paolo.
Voice of SYLVETTE. Petrarch and Laura.
[BERGAMIN and PASQUINOT emerge.]
PASQUINOT. See how well your plan has succeeded! Our children are quite mad, thanks to you!
BERGAMIN. Your daughter, with her famous abduction, is most aggravating.
PASQUINOT. Your son thinks he is a hero. He gets on my nerves.
BERGAMIN. But the worst of it all is that they think we are two idiotic old fools whom they have deceived. I don't like it at all.
PASQUINOT. Why didn't you think of it before, wise man? I'm going to tell them everything.
BERGAMIN. No, please don't do that--at least not until after the signing of the contract. Let us not say a word until then.
PASQUINOT. Very well. But meantime, there we are caught in the net of your own making.
BERGAMIN. But my dear friend, you admired the plan!
PASQUINOT. A fine plan, in truth!
[SYLVETTE enters gaily, with flowers in her hand. She waves to PERCINET in the distance, then comes down-stage.]
SYLVETTE. Good-day, Papa. Good-day, Father-in-law to-be!
BERGAMIN. Good-day, daughter-in-law to-be!
SYLVETTE. My, my, what a bad humor you are in!
BERGAMIN. It's Pasquinot's fault--he--he--
SYLVETTE. [Waving her flowers in BERGAMIN's face] Sh! Please don't quarrel. Of course, I understand, you can't behave quite as old friends, and you like to quarrel a little, in a friendly way--
BERGAMIN. Of course, our hatred was so great!
SYLVETTE. A mortal hatred, too! When I think what you've said about Papa--oh, dear! I used to sit by the wall and hear every word! And to think you never once suspected that I came there to meet Percinet--
PASQUINOT. [Ironically] Ah, I--
SYLVETTE. We came every day at the same hour. [To BERGAMIN] Ha, ha, I can still hear Percinet telling you that he was going to marry--"most romantically"! And he kept his word!
BERGAMIN. [Put out] Really? And do you think that if I had wished--?
SYLVETTE. Now, now, now! I know lovers' dreams are always realized, and that fathers who are mortal enemies always end by falling into each other's arms.
PASQUINOT. Oh, let me laugh!
SYLVETTE. But we proved it!
BERGAMIN. I could say something--
SYLVETTE. What?
BERGAMIN. Nothing!
SYLVETTE. [To BERGAMIN] You seem changed. What do you mean?
BERGAMIN. I mean--
PASQUINOT. Why, with one word, we could-- [Aside] I can't tell her! [He walks up-stage two or three steps.]
SYLVETTE. Well, if you have nothing to say, why not keep still?
PASQUINOT. [Angrily] Keep still? Nothing to say? Do you imagine that everything just happened? How do you think people could come into my park through the iron gates?
BERGAMIN. Do you imagine for one instant that young ladies are carried off like that nowadays?
SYLVETTE. Do I--? What are you saying?
BERGAMIN. That will do! It is high time you knew the truth. I tell you, the victory was on the side of the old men!
SYLVETTE. But--
PASQUINOT. In old plays the father was always the dupe. Nowadays, we do the duping! Would either of you have loved the other if you had been told to do so? No.
SYLVETTE. Then perhaps you suspected--?
PASQUINOT. Of course we did.
SYLVETTE. Our meetings?
BERGAMIN. I heard you every time!
SYLVETTE. But the benches?
PASQUINOT. We put them there on purpose.
SYLVETTE. The duel?
BERGAMIN. A trick--prepared beforehand.
SYLVETTE. The bravadoes?
PASQUINOT. Actors!
SYLVETTE. Then my abduction--? It was all a joke!
BERGAMIN. [Searching in his pocket] Joke? Here's the bill!
SYLVETTE. [Snatching the bill from him] Give it to me! [She reads] "Straforel, Confidential affairs: One abduction, setting and scenery--for purposes of bringing about a marriage--" Oh! "Eight assistants at five francs a head; eight masks--"
BERGAMIN. [To PASQUINOT] I think we told her too soon!
SYLVETTE. [Continuing] "One sedan-chair, with porters; latest style, with red trimmings--" [Laughing, she throws the bill on the table.]
PASQUINOT. Then she isn't angry?
SYLVETTE. [Graciously] A charming idea! But, truly, Monsieur Bergamin, do you think I love Percinet merely because of your trick?
PASQUINOT. She takes it very well.
BERGAMIN. [To SYLVETTE] You're not offended?
PASQUINOT. Are you going to tell Percinet?
SYLVETTE. Oh, no. Men are so stupid!
BERGAMIN. Very sensible. But I had an idea-- [Taking out his watch] Now we must see about the contract. [Offering his hand to SYLVETTE] We are still good friends?
SYLVETTE. Of course!
BERGAMIN. [Turning about once more before he goes out] You don't blame me, do you?
SYLVETTE. [Sweetly] Not in the least! [BERGAMIN and PASQUINOT go out. As they leave, SYLVETTE burst into a rage.] How I hate that Monsieur Bergamin!
[Enter PERCINET.]
PERCINET. Still here? Ah, I see; you did not want to leave this sacred spot--
SYLVETTE. [Sitting on the bench to the left] Outrageous!
PERCINET. There is where you saw me, like Amadis, put to flight thirty of the ruffians!
SYLVETTE. No: ten!
PERCINET. [Going to her] Dearest, what is the matter? Are you troubled? Your eyes are not so bright as