The Romancers | Page 6

have no business doing that during the day!
BLAISE. But Monsieur Bergamin told me to!
PASQUINOT. Ah, I see! He seems to think that the more grass is watered the better it becomes. Well, take those plants out of the green-house. [As BLAISE begins arranging plants which he gets from the green-house--just off-stage--enter BERGAMIN at the back.]
BERGAMIN. [Watering some flowers from a large watering can] Dear me, these plants never get enough water! [To a tree] Hey there, old man, you never get enough to drink, do you? There's for you! [Laying down the watering can, he looks about him with satisfaction.] Yes, it is better now. Very pretty--those statues there are a decided improvement. [Catching sight of PASQUINOT] How are you? [No answer.] How are you? How are you? [PASQUINOT raises his head.] Well?
PASQUINOT. My friend, why ask that? We see each other all the time!
BERGAMIN. Oh, very well. [Seeing BLAISE arranging the plants] Will you take those plants back?! [BLAISE, not knowing what to do, takes them back immediately. PASQUINOT raises his eyes, shrugs his shoulders, and then resumes his reading. BERGAMIN walks back and forth, and finally sits down near PASQUNOT. There is a pause.] I used to come here every day, in silence--
PASQUINOT. [Laying aside his paper] I, too--it was most amusing!
BERGAMIN. And our secret!
PASQUINOT. The very danger was amusing.
BERGAMIN. And the things we had to say of each other--!
PASQUINOT. Very amusing.--Bergamin?
BERGAMIN. Pasquinot?
PASQUINOT. Something's lacking now.
BERGAMIN. The idea! [After a moment's reflection] Yes, I agree with you. Funny--are you losing your sense of the romantic? [He looks at PASQUINOT and says, aside] His waistcoat often lacks a button! It's disgusting! [He rises and walks back and forth.]
PASQUINOT. [Looking over his paper--aside] He looks like some immense beetle. [He pretends to be reading as BERGAMIN passes him.]
BERGAMIN. [Aside] See the ridiculous way he reads! [He whistles as he walks away up-stage.]
PASQUINOT. [Aside] Whistling! Oh, Heavens! Don't do that, whistling makes me nervous.
BERGAMIN. [With a smile] Remember the mote in your neighbor's eye. You, too, get on my nerves sometimes.
PASQUINOT. I?
BERGAMIN. You tell the same story twenty times a day.
PASQUINOT. Why, I--
BERGAMIN. And when you sit down you swing your foot like a pendulum. At meals you roll your bread in a most disgusting manner.
PASQUINOT. Ha, you take me to task for my irritating mannerisms! But let me tell you, you are no less unpleasant. You are ridiculous and thoroughly selfish. I know now what the trouble is: the wall-- with it, we were happy, now we don't live at all.
BERGAMIN. We didn't do this for ourselves, did we?
PASQUINOT. No, we did not!
BERGAMIN. It was for our children.
PASQUINOT. For our children, yes. Let us therefore suffer in silence, and regret our former liberty.
BERGAMIN. Sacrifice is the lot of parents.
[SYLVETTE and PERCINET appear at the left, up stage, arm in arm.]
PASQUINOT. Sh!--the lovers!
BERGAMIN. [Looking at them] See them! How they love each other! Like the old pilgrims of love, they return each day to the sacred spot.
[The lovers, who have meantime disappeared, re-appear on the opposite side of the stage, and come down toward the old men.]
PASQUINOT. If they are talking as they usually do, their conversation will be well worth listening to!
[BERGAMIN and PASQUINOT retire behind a tree.]
PERCINET. I love you.
SYLVETTE. I love you. [They stop.] Here is the famous spot.
PERCINET. Yes. He fell here, that big fellow, pierced to the heart.
SYLVETTE. There was I, like Andromeda.
PERCINET. And I was Perseus!
SYLVETTE. How many were there against you?
PERCINET. Ten!
SYLVETTE. Oh, there were twenty at least, not counting the big leader.
PERCINET. Or thirty--there must have been!
SYLVETTE. Tell me once more how it was accomplished?
PERCINET. They fell--like cards in a row!
SYLVETTE. Our story should be put into a poem!
PERCINET. It shall be.
SYLVETTE. How I love you!
PERCINET. I adore you!
SYLVETTE. A realized dream. How my heart beats! I would never think of marrying a commonplace little husband picked out by my father!
PERCINET. Indeed?
SYLVETTE. No, no, not the way husbands are usually given to young girls.
PERCINET. No, you would never have thought of marrying the son of your father's best friend.
SYLVETTE. [Laughing] Indeed not. Have you noticed how our fathers have lately--?
PERCINET. Yes, like two dogs.
BERGAMIN. [Aside] Hm!
PERCINET. And I know the reason why. This new arrangement is not the best thing for their property. Our fathers are very good people, you know, but they haven't much soul, and our brilliant adventure rather throws them into the shade--
PASQUINOT. [Aside] How's that?
SYLVETTE. You see, they are fathers of celebrated lovers. Poor fathers, how they have been deceived!
PASQUINOT. [Aside] Ha, ha!
PERCINET. Yes, fate has been with us!
BERGAMIN. [Aside] Ha, ha!
SYLVETTE. And to-night the marriage-contract is to be signed!
PERCINET. I must have musicians.
SYLVETTE. Then go quick.
PERCINET. I fly!
SYLVETTE. [Calling him back] I'll take you as far as the gate. [They go up-stage, arm in arm.] We are at