The Romancers | Page 3

here, what honeysuckle! This hundred-year-old wall, with its clinging
vines, its constellations of flowers, looking through the crannies, kissed
by the summer sun, makes the bench a throne fit for kings!
BERGAMIN. Nonsense, you hare-brained youth! Do you mean to tell
me that this wall has eyes?
PERCINET. Ah, what eyes! [Turns toward the wall.] Of soft azure, yet
dazzlingly blue; let but a tear come to dim your brightness, or a single
kiss--
BERGAMIN. But the wall hasn't eyes, you idiot!
PERCINET. See this vine, though! [He plucks part of the vine from the
wall and graciously presents it to his father.]
SYLVETTE. [Aside] How clever!

BERGAMIN. How stupid! But I know now what has turned your silly
head: you come here to read! [SYLVETTE starts as she hears this.
PERCINET also shows signs of fear as his father pulls the book from
the youth's pocket.] Plays! [He drops the book in horror.] And verse!
Verse! That's what's turned your head. Now I see why you talk about
eyes and honeysuckle. I tell you, to be useful, a wall doesn't have to be
beautiful. I am going to have all this green stuff taken away, and the
bricks re-laid and the holes stopped up. I want a white wall and a high
one to keep the neighbors from looking into our park. I want no vines
and honeysuckles. Along the top I'll sprinkle broken glass--
PERCINET. Pity!
BERGAMIN. No pity! I insist on it! Glass--all along the top of the wall!
[SYLVETTE and PERCINET are in despair. BERGAMIN sits down
on the bench.] And now, I have something to say to you. [He rises and
examines the wall.] If the wall hasn't eyes, it may possibly have ears?
[He is about to stand on the bench, when PERCINET takes fright and
SYLVETTE clings close to her side of the wall, making herself as
small as she can. BERGAMIN decides not to scale the wall, but
motions to his son to do so.] See whether some curious listener--?
PERCINET. [Climbing to the top and leaning over so that SYLVETTE
can hear him] Till to-night!
SYLVETTE. [Giving him her hand, which he kisses] I'll come as the
clock is striking! I adore you!
BERGAMIN. [To PERCINET] Well?
PERCINET. [Jumping down--to his father] No one!
BERGAMIN. [Re-seating himself] Well, then, my boy, I should like to
see you married.
SYLVETTE. [Aside] Oh!
BERGAMIN. What's that?

PERCINET. Nothing.
BERGAMIN. I thought I heard a cry?
PERCINET. [Looking into the air] Some wounded bird, perhaps.
BERGAMIN. I have given the matter my undivided attention, and have
chosen a wife for you. [PERCINET whistles and walks away.] I tell
you, I am in earnest and I intend to force you, if necessary.
[PERCINET continues whistling.] Will you stop that confounded
whistling! The young woman is rich--she's a jewel!
PERCINET. I want none of your jewels!
BERGAMIN. I'll show you, you young insolent!
PERCINET. [Grasping his father's cane, which is raised as if to strike
him] Spring has filled the bushes with the songs of birds; the brooklets
accompany the love-notes of wild birds.
BERGAMIN. Rascal!
PERCINET. [Still holding the cane] The whole world laughs and sings
farewell to April. The butterflies--
BERGAMIN. Ruffian!
PERCINET. [As before] Wing their way across the meadows, to make
love to the adored flowers! Love--
BERGAMIN. Villain!
PERCINET. Love opens wide the heart of all nature. And you ask me
to consent to a marriage of reason!
BERGAMIN. Of course I do!
PERCINET. [Passionately] No, no, no, Father. I swear by this
wall--which hears me, I hope--that my marriage will be more romantic

than any dreamed of in the most poetic of the world's love stories! [He
runs out.]
BERGAMIN. [Pursuing him] Ah, let me catch you--!
SYLVETTE. I can really understand now why Papa hates that odious
old man!
[Enter PASQUINOT, left.]
PASQUINOT. Well, Mademoiselle, what are you doing here?
SYLVETTE. Nothing. Taking the air.
PASQUINOT. Alone? But, you silly girl, are you not afraid?
SYLVETTE. Not in the least.
PASQUINOT. Near this wall? I forbade you to come near it! You see
that park over there? That belong to my mortal enemy!
SYLVETTE. I know it, Father dear.
PASQUINOT. Why, here you are exposed to any insult, any--if those
rascals knew that my daughter were walking alone in this park-- Brr! It
makes me shiver to think of! I'm going to have the wall repaired, and
erect a huge iron grill on top of it.
SYLVETTE. [Aside] He'll never do it--it would cost too much!
PASQUINOT. Now go into the house--quick! [She goes out,
PASQUINOT glowering at her.]
BERGAMIN. [Heard from the other side of the wall, as he enters] Take
this note at once to Monsieur Straforel.
PASQUINOT. [Running to the wall and climbing to the top of it]
Bergamin!

BERGAMIN.