The Puritain Widow | Page 8

will thump ope the Prison
doors, and brain the Keeper with the begging Box, but I'll see my
honest sweet Captain Idle at liberty.
NICHOLAS. How, Captain Idle? my old Aunt's son, my dear Kinsman,
in Capadochio?
CORPORAL. Aye, thou Church-peeling, thou Holy-paring, religious
outside, thou! if thou hadst any grace in thee, thou would'st visit him,
relieve him, swear to get him out.
NICHOLAS. Assure you, Corporal, indeed-lam tis the first time I heard
on't.
CORPORAL. Why do't now, then, Marmaset: bring forth thy
yearly-wages, let not a Commander perish!
SIMON. But, if he be one of the wicked, he shall perish.
NICHOLAS. Well, Corporal, I'll e'en them along with you, to visit my
Kinsman: if I can do him any good, I will,--but I have nothing for him.
Simon Saint Mary Ovaries and Frailty, pray make a lie for me to the
Knight my Master, old Sir Godfrey.
CORPORAL. A lie? may you lie then?
FRAILTY. O, aye, we may lie, but we must not swear.
SIMON. True, we may lie with our Neighbor's wife, but we must not
swear wedid so.
CORPORAL. Oh, an excellent Tag of religion!
NICHOLAS. Oh Simon, I have thought upon a sound excuse; it will go
currant: say that I am gone to a Fast.
SIMON. To a Fast? very good.
NICHOLAS. Aye, to a Fast, say, with Master Fullbelly the Minister.
SIMON. Master Fullbelly? an honest man: he feeds the flock well, for
he's an excellent feeder.
[Exit Corporal, Nicholas.]
FRAILTY. Oh, aye, I have seen him eat up a whole Pig, and afterward
fall to the pittitoes.
[Exit Simon and Frailty.]
SCENE IV.
The Prison, Marshalsea.
[Enter Captain Idle at one door, and later Pye-board and old soldier at
the other. George Pye-board, speaking within.]
PYE. Pray turn the key.

SKIRMISH. Turn the key, I pray.
CAPTAIN. Who should those be? I almost know their voices.-- O my
friends!
[Entering.]
Ya're welcome to a smelling Room here. You newly took leave of the
air; ist not a strange savour?
PYE. As all prisons have: smells of sundry wretches, Who, tho
departed, leave their scents behind 'em. By Gold, Captain, I am
sincerely sorry for thee.
CAPTAIN. By my troth, George, I thank thee; but pish,--what must be,
must be.
SKIRMISH. Captain, what do you lie in for? ist great? what's your
offence?
CAPTAIN. Faith, my offence is ordinary,--common: A High-way; and
I fear me my penalty will be ordinary and common too: a halter.
PYE. Nay, prophecy not so ill; it shall go heard, But I'll shift for thy
life.
CAPTAIN. Whether I live or die, thou'art an honest George. I'll tell
you--silver flowed not with me, as it had done, (for now the tide runs to
Bawds and flatterers.) I had a start out, and by chance set upon a fat
steward, thinking his purse had been as pursey as his body; and the
slave had about him but the poor purchase of ten groats:
notwithstanding, being descried, pursued, and taken, I know the Law is
so grim, in respect of many desperate, unsettled soldiers, that I fear me
I shall dance after their pipe for't.
SKIRMISH. I am twice sorry for you, Captain: first that your purchase
was so small, and now that your danger is so great.
CAPTAIN. Push, the worst is but death,--ha you a pipe of Tobacco
about you?
SKIRMISH. I think I have there abouts about me.
[Captain blows a pipe.]
CAPTAIN. Here's a clean Gentleman, too, to receive.
PYE. Well, I must cast about some happy slight. Work brain, that ever
didst thy Master right!
CAPTAIN. Keeper! let the key be turn'd!
[Corporal and Nicholas within.]
NICHOLAS. Aye, I pray, Master keeper, give's a cast of your office.

CAPTAIN. How now? more Visitants?--what, Corporal Oath?
PYE. Corporal?
SKIRMISH. Corporal?
CORPORAL. In prison, honest Captain? this must not be.
NICHOLAS. How do you, Captain Kinsman>
CAPTAIN. Good Cocks-comb! what makes that pure, starch'd fool
here?
NICHOLAS. You see, Kinsman, I am somewhat bold to call in, and see
how you do. I heard you were safe enough, and I was very glad on't
that it was no worse.
CAPTAIN. This is a double torture now,--this fool by'th book Do's vex
me more than my imprisonment. What meant you, Corporal, to hook
him hither?
CORPORAL. Who, he? he shall relieve thee, and supply thee; I'll make
him do 't.
CAPTAIN. [Aside, to Oath.] Fie, what vain breath you spend! he
supply? I'll sooner expect mercy from a Usurer when my bond's
Forfeited, sooner kindness from a Layer when my money's spent: Nay,
sooner charity from the devil, than good from a Puritan! I'll look for
relief from him, when Lucifer is restor'd to his blood, and in Heaven
again.
NICHOLAS. I warrant, my Kinsman's talking of me,