The Pretentious Young Ladies | Page 9

MASC. That is a sensible fellow.
1 CHAIR. Make haste, then.
MASC. Ay, you speak properly, but the other is a scoundrel, who does
not know what he says. There, are you satisfied?
1 CHAIR. No, I am not satisfied; you boxed my friend's ears, and ...
(_holding up his pole_).
MASC. Gently; there is something for the box on the ear. People may
get anything from me when they go about it in the right way. Go now,
but come and fetch me by and by to carry me to the Louvre to the petit
coucher.
[Footnote: Louis XIV. and several other Kings of France, received their
courtiers when rising or going to bed. This was called lever and
coucher. The lever as well as the coucher was divided into petit and
grand. All persons received at court had a right to come to the grand
lever and _coucher_, but only certain noblemen of high rank and the
princes of the royal blood could remain at the petit lever and _coucher_,
which was the time between the king putting on either a day or night
shirt, and the time he went to bed or was fully dressed. The highest
person of rank always claimed the right of handing to the king his

shirt.]

SCENE IX.--MAROTTE, MASCARILLE.
MAR. Sir, my mistresses will come immediately.
MASC. Let them not hurry themselves; I am very comfortable here,
and can wait.
MAR. Here they come.

SCENE X.--MADELON, CATHOS, MASCARILLE, ALMANZOR.
MASC. (_After having bowed to them_). Ladies, no doubt you will be
surprised at the boldness of my visit, but your reputation has drawn this
disagreeable affair upon you; merit has for me such potent charms, that
I run everywhere after it.
MAD. If you pursue merit you should not come to us.
CAT. If you find merit amongst us, you must have brought it hither
yourself.
MASC. Ah! I protest against these words. When fame mentioned your
deserts it spoke the truth, and you are going to make _pic_, _repic_,
and capot. all the gallants from Paris.
[Footnote: Dryden, in his _Sir Martin Mar-all_ (Act i. sc. i), makes Sir
Martin say: "If I go to picquet...he will picque and repicque, and capot
me twenty times together" I believe that these terms in Molière's and
Dryden's times had a different meaning from what they have now.]
MAD. Your complaisance goes a little too far in the liberality of its
praises, and my cousin and I must take care not to give too much credit
to your sweet adulation.
CAT. My dear, we should call for chairs.
MAD. Almanzor!
ALM. Madam.
MAD. Convey to us hither, instantly, the conveniences of conversation.
MASC. But am I safe here? (Exit Almanzor.)
CAT. What is it you fear?
MASC. Some larceny of my heart; some massacre of liberty. I behold
here a pair of eyes that seem to be very naughty boys, that insult liberty,
and use a heart most barbarously. Why the deuce do they put
themselves on their guard, in order to kill any one who comes near

them? Upon my word! I mistrust them; I shall either scamper away, or
expect very good security that they do me no mischief.
MAD. My dear, what a charming facetiousness he has!
CAT. I see, indeed, he is an Amilcar.
[Footnote: Amilcar is one of the heroes of the novel _Clélie_, who
wishes to be thought sprightly.]
MAD. Fear nothing, our eyes have no wicked designs, and your heart
may rest in peace, fully assured of their innocence.
CAT. But, pray, Sir, be not inexorable to the easy chair, which, for this
last quarter of an hour, has held out its arms towards you; yield to its
desire of embracing you.
MASC. (_After having combed himself, and, adjusted the rolls of his
stockings_). Well, ladies, and what do you think of Paris?
[Footnote: It was at that time the custom for men of rank to comb their
hair or periwigs in public.]
[Footnote: The rolls (_canons_) were large round pieces of linen, often
adorned with lace or ribbons, and which were fastened below the
breeches, just under the knee.]
MAD. Alas! what can we think of it? It would be the very antipodes of
reason not to confess that Paris is the grand cabinet of marvels, the
centre of good taste, wit, and gallantry.
MASC. As for me, I maintain that, out of Paris, there is no salvation for
the polite world.
CAT. Most assuredly.
MASC. Paris is somewhat muddy; but then we have sedan chairs.
MAD. To be sure; a sedan chair is a wonderful protection against the
insults of mud and bad weather.
MASC. I am sure you receive many visits. What great wit belongs to
your company?
MAD. Alas! we are not yet