The Pretentious Young Ladies | Page 8

the anagram of Arthenice.]
GORG. Hearken; one word will suffice. I do not allow you to take any
other names than those that were given you by your godfathers and
godmothers; and as for those gentlemen we are speaking about, I know
their families and fortunes, and am determined they shall be your
husbands. I am tired of having you upon my hands. Looking after a
couple of girls is rather too weighty a charge for a man of my years.
CAT. As for me, uncle, all I can say is, that I think marriage a very
shocking business. How can one endure the thought of lying by the side
of a man, who is really naked?
MAD. Give us leave to take breath for a short time among the
fashionable world of Paris, where we are but just arrived. Allow us to
prepare at our leisure the groundwork of our novel, and do not hurry on
the conclusion too abruptly.
GORG. (_Aside_). I cannot doubt it any longer; they are completely
mad. (_Aloud_). Once more, I tell you, I understand nothing of all this
gibberish; I will be master, and to cut short all kinds of arguments,
either you shall both be married shortly, or, upon my word, you shall be
nuns; that I swear.
[Footnote: This scene is the mere outline of the well known quarrel
between Chrysale, Philaminte, and Belinda in the "_Femmes
Savantes_" (see vol. iii.) but a husband trembling before his wife, and
only daring to show his temper to his sister, is a much more tempting
subject for a dramatic writer than a man addressing in a firm tone his
daughter and niece.]

SCENE VI.--CATHOS, MADELON.
CAT. Good Heavens, my dear, how deeply is your father still
immersed in material things! how dense is his understanding, and what
gloom overcasts his soul!

MAD. What can I do, my dear? I am ashamed of him. I can hardly
persuade myself I am indeed his daughter; I believe that an accident,
some time or other, will discover me to be of a more illustrious descent.
CAT. I believe it; really, it is very likely; as for me, when I consider
myself...

SCENE VII.--CATHOS, MADELON, MAROTTE.
MAR. Here is a footman asks if you are at home, and says his master is
coming to see you.
MAD. Learn, you dunce, to express yourself a little less vulgarly. Say,
here is a necessary evil inquiring if it is commodious for you to become
visible.
[Footnote: All these and similar sentences were really employed by the
precieuses.]
MAR. I do not understand Latin, and have not learned philosophy out
of Cyrus, as you have done.
[Footnote: _Artamene, ou le Grand Cyrus_, (1649-1653) a novel in ten
volumes by Madle. de Scudery.]
MAD. Impertinent creature! How can this be borne! And who is this
footman's master?
MAR. He told me it was the Marquis de Mascarille.
MAD. Ah, my dear! A marquis! a marquis! Well, go and tell him we
are visible. This is certainly some wit who has heard of us.
CAT. Undoubtedly, my dear.
MAD. We had better receive him here in this parlour than in our room.
Let us at least arrange our hair a little and maintain our reputation.
Come in quickly, and reach us the Counsellor of the Graces.
MAR. Upon my word, I do not know what sort of a beast that is; you
must speak like a Christian if you would have me know your meaning.
CAT. Bring us the looking-glass, you blockhead! and take care not to
contaminate its brightness by the communication of your image.

SCENE VIII.--MASCARILLE, TWO CHAIRMEN.
MASC. Stop, chairman, stop. Easy does it! Easy, easy! I think these
boobies intend to break me to pieces by bumping me against the walls
and the pavement.

1 CHAIR. Ay, marry, because the gate is narrow and you would make
us bring you in here.
MASC. To be sure, you rascals! Would you have me expose the fulness
of my plumes to the inclemency of the rainy season, and let the mud
receive the impression of my shoes? Begone; take away your chair.
2 CHAIR. Then please to pay us, sir.
MASC. What?
2 CHAIR. Sir, please to give us our money, I say.
MASC. (_Giving him a box on the ear_). What, scoundrel, to ask
money from a person of my rank!
2 CHAIR. Is this the way poor people are to be paid? Will your rank
get us a dinner?
MASC. Ha, ha! I shall teach you to keep your right place. Those low
fellows dare to make fun of me!
1 CHAIR. (_Taking up one of the poles of his chair_). Come, pay us
quickly.
MASC. What?
1 CHAIR. I mean to have my money at once.