pistol
and knife;
And so ay ban coming to tal yu
He'd lak yu, Priscilla, for
vife."
Priscilla, she listen to Alden,
And den give him cute little venk,
And say: "Vy not speak for yureself, Yohn?
Miles Standish ban
lobster, ay tenk."
So Standish get double crossed planty;
And dat's
yust vat AY vant, by yee,
Ef ever ay get any faller
To doing my
sparking for me!
ROBINSON CRUSOE
Maester Robinson Crusoe ban lonely old faller
Who ban on an island
gude long time ago;
His friends all ban lost in a yolly big shipwreck;
But Robinson alvays ban lucky, yu know.
He get on dis island, and
can't get avay,
"By yiminy," say Crusoe, "ay tenk ay skol stay!"
Von day some cannibals com to dis island,
And brenging some frends
just to make little stew.
Dese frends dey ant lak to be made into
cooking,
And von faller dodge dis har cannibal crew.
His name it
ban Friday. He ban a gude coon,
And Crusoe and he start to eat from
same spoon.
Dey have lots of fun on dis har desert island,
Dey play seven up and
casino, ay tenk;
And Crusoe put on a nice bar-tender's apron,
And
taught Maester Friday to mix a gude drenk.
Dey get kind o' used to
dis old desert isle,
And get 'long togedder qvite gude for a vile.
But Friday ban coon, and yu know dese coon fallers
Ban looking for
tips yust so sharp sum dey can.
So Friday yust tal Maester Robinson
Crusoe,
"Ay tenk, Maester Crusoe, yu ban a cheap man."
Den he
yump into ocean, and svim yust lak hal,
And Robinson Crusoe ban
losing his pal.
GEORGE WASHINGTON
Yeorge Vashington ban honest man.
Ven dis har country first began,
Yeorge ban a yen'ral, and yu bet
Dese English fallers know it yet.
Ven he ban small, his fader say,
"Ef yu skol breng in vood to-day,
And feeding cow and chickens, tu,
Ay skol yust blow myself on
yu."
Val, sure enuff, ven Yeorge du chore,
His fader hike for hardvare
store,
And buy gude hatchet, only it
Ban second-hand a little bit.
Dar ban on edge some little dents,
It ban marked down to saxty cents.
He pay sax cents to sharpen axe,
And so it cost him saxty-sax.
He tak it home to Yeorgie, tu,
And say, "Ay ant ban fuling you."
Next day Yeorge tak dis hatchet out,
And start to rubber all about
For someteng he can chop, yu see,
And den he pipe nice cherry-tree.
"By Yudas! Dis ban soft!" say he.
"Ef dis har axe ban any gude,
Dis tree skol sune ban kindling vood."
So Yeorge give cherry-tree
gude whack,
And sveng dis axe lak lumberyack;
And yust ven tree
ban falling down,
His fader coming back from town.
Yeorge see old
yent ban standing dar,
Smoking gude fifteen-cent cigar;
And so he
say: "Val, holy yee!
Ay guess the yig ban op vith me.
Dear fader,
AY chopped down dis tree!"
Dar ban gude moral har for youth:
Ven lie ban fulish, tal the truth!
PAUL REVERE
Listen, Christina, and yu skol hear
'Bout midnight ride of Paul Revere.
Seventeen hundred seventy-five,
Hardly a geezer ban now alive
Who live har ven Paul ban wolunteer.
Some British fallers ban getting gay,
So Paul yust giving his horse
some hay
And say, "Ay skol mak a grand-stand play!"
Den he tal
Yohn Brenk,--Yohn ban his frend
Who borrow venever Paul skol
lend,--
"Yohn, yust go up har in old church tower,
And, yust so
sune sum yu find out hour
British skol march, give me good yal,
And ay skol hustle and ride lak hal!"
So op in the church go old Yohn Brenk,--
It ban first time in his life,
ay tenk;
And, ven dese English get busy, he yal,
And vave big
lantern to his gude pal,
Maester Paul Revere, who yump on mare,
And off for Lexington he skol tear.
"Yee whiz!" he say, "after dis, ay
guess,
Ay skol getting my picture in Success.
Dey skol tenk ay'm
smart old son of a gun
Ven I gallop into Lexington!"
Val, he mak dis ride, yu bet yure life!
And fallers grab gun and drum
and fife,
And march to scrap vith dese British men.
Maester Paul
ban yolly brave hero den.
And back in the church tower old Yohn
Brenk
Climb from his perch, and tak gude drenk.
Val, dis ban all,
Christina dear,
'Bout midnight ride of Paul Revere.
WATERLOO
At Vaterloo dar ban a scrap
Gude many year ago.
Napolyun, he ban
brave old chap
And boss of whole French show.
And Maester
Vellington, he say,
"Ay skol mak gude defence,
And make dis
Bonypart and Ney
To look lak saxty cents."
Dey start to fight on Sunday morn;
And preacher say to Nap:
"Now,
yust so sure sum yu ban born,
Yu're going to fall in trap.
Ef yu got
any vork to du,
Yust chuse some oder day."
But Nap say, "To the
voods vith yu!
Mak dis bar bugle play!"
Ven Maester Vellington vake op,
He see a gude big hill,
Vith plenty
soldier men on top,--
Ay bet he got gude chill.
"Yerusalem!" he tal
his men,
"Dese French ban purty t'ick.
Ay tenk by qvarter after ten
Dey skol feel gude and sick."
Den Yen'ral Blucher com along,
And loading op his gun;
And dis
mak tengs look purty
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