some;
And all of dem call me gude faller,
And helping to put me on
bum.
Val, back to the pines, Maester Olaf,
And driving yure old
team of mules.
Put dis in yure pipe, tu, and smoke it:
Gude fallers
ban mostly dam fules.
"IT'S UP TO YOU"
Ay s'pose yu tenk life ban hard game.
Ay guess yu lak to qvit,
perhaps.
Ay hear yu say, "It ban a shame
To see so many lucky
chaps."
Yu say, "Dese guys ban mostly yaps:
Ay vish ay had some
money, tu,
And not get all dese gude hard raps."
Val, Maester, it
ban op to yu.
Sometimes ay s'pose yu vork long hours,
And ant get wery fancy pay;
Den yu can't buying stacks of flowers
And feed yure girl in gude
café,
And drenk yin rickies and frappé.
Oh, yes! dis mak yu purty
blue.
Yu lak to have more fun, yu say?
Val, Maester, it ban op to
yu.
Dis vorld ant got much room to spare
For men vich make dis
hard-luck cry,--
'Bout von square foot vile dey ban har,
And six feet
after dey skol die.
Time "fugit,"--high-school vord for "fly";
And
purty sune yure chance ban tru.
So, ef yu lak to stack chips high,
Val, Maester, it ban op to yu.
THE NORSK NIGHTINGALE
HIS HISTORICAL TALES
HORATIUS AT THE BRIDGE
Horatius ban brave yentleman,
Who vatch big bridge at night:
It
ban gude many years ago,
Ay ant got date yust right.
Dar ban some
foxy geezers
Who march avay from home,
And tenk they having
qvite gude chance
To raise some hal in Rome.
Lars Porsena ban starting it,--
Ay tenk Lars ban a Svede;
He raise
'bout tousand soldiers,
And put himself in lead.
Then he began tu
marching,
And all his frends march, tu,
Till they skol come almost
to Rome,
Var dey skol rest a few.
Then op spake Maester Horatius,
Captain of dis har gate:
"To every
yackass on dis earth
Death coming sune or late.
So how can ay die
better
Than vatching bridge, yu say?
Now who skol standing on my
front
And vatching bridge vith me?"
Then Maester Laertus Larson,
A scrapper fine ban he,
Say, "Ay
skol standing on yure back,
But not on front, by yee!"
And old
Herminius Hermanson--
He ban gude fighter, tu,
Say, "Ay skol
taking little smash
At dese har Svedes vith yu!"
So ven dis Maester Porsena
Ban come to big bridge gate,
He sees
three husky lumberyacks,
And know he come tu late.
But Lars, he
ant ban qvitter,
He send 'bout saxteen men
To taking bridge,--by
yiminy,
Dey ant come back again!
While old Horatius and his frends
Ban vatching bridge so gude,
Some aldermen on oder shore
Ban sawing planty vood.
Ay tal yu,
ven dese boodlers
Ban start to tear tengs down,
Dar ant no better
vorkers
Novere in whole dam town.
So ven dis bridge start falling,
Horatius' frends yump back;
And he
skol stand alone dar--
He ban brave lumberyack.
Then he yump into
Tiber,
And say, "Ay skol svim home!"
Dis har ban how Horatius
Skol turn gude trick for Rome.
WILLIAM TELL
Dar ban a man named Villiam Tell
Who ban a qvite gude shot.
Ay
bet yu, ven he tak nice aim,
He alvays hit the spot.
Ay s'pose he
hunting every day
And killing lots of game;
Ef he ban missing such
a chance,
Ay tenk it ban a shame.
Some fallers yump on him von day,
And taking him to yail,
And tal
him he skol have to pay
Sax tousand dollars' bail.
"Yeew hiz!" say
Tell. "Sax tousand bones!
Ay ant got saxty cents!"
And so dey mak
him breaking stones
Behind big iron fence.
Den Olaf Gessler say to him:
"Bill, yu ban qvite gude shot,
So ay
skol give yu yust von chance
To vinning nice yack pot.
Yure son
ban purty brave young kid;
Ay tell yu, on the dead,
Yu skol go free
ef you can shoot
Dis apple off his head."
"Yerusalem!" say Bill, "ef you
Skol give me drenk of bock,
Ay bet
yu ay can shoot dis fruit
Off little Yimmie's block;
But, ef ay shoot
tu low, val, den
Yust sidestep qvick, by heck,
Or yu skol finding
little bunch
Of arrows in yure neck!"
So Olaf frame it op for Bill,
And Bill he tak gude aim,
And shoot at
little Yimmie's block,--
Ay tal yu, he ban game.
And Bill skol
knocking apple off,
And Yim vent back to school;
But Olaf put Bill
back in yail,
And tal him, "April fool!"
THE COURTSHIP OF MILES STANDISH
Miles Standish ban having a courtship
Ven all of his fighting ban tru;
Maester Longfaller tal me about it,
And so ay skol tal it to yu.
He
say to his room-mate, Yohn Alden:
"Yu know dis Priscilla, ay s'pose.
Last veek, ven ay try to get busy,
Priscilla yust turn op her nose."
Yohn Alden ban nervy young faller.
So Standish yust tal him: "Old
pal,
Pleese boost me to dis har Priscilla,
Yu know ay can't talk wery
val.
Pleese tal her ay ban a gude soldier,
And say ay have money in
bank.
Ay'd du dis myself, but, ay tal yu,
My manners in parlor ban
rank."
So Yohn go and call on Priscilla,
And happen to finding her in;
He
sit close beside her on sofa,
And give her gude lots of his chin.
"Miles Standish," he say, "ban gude faller,
Hot stuff vith his
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