The Mothers Recompense, Volume I. | Page 7

ever be worthy of half,
nay, one quarter of that respectful admiration which is bestowed upon
her, even by those whose principles and conduct are directly opposite?
In her conversations with me she had spoken more of the opinion of the
world than she ever did at Oakwood, and one day venturing to notice it,
as being contrary to that which she so carefully instilled, that to God
and our conscience we should alone be answerable for our conduct, she
answered, with a smile--
"I have been long expecting this remark, my dear Emmeline, and I have
endeavoured to be prepared with an answer. To our Father in Heaven
and to our own conscience we must still look for our guide in life; that
not in one thing must we transgress the love and duty we owe our
Maker, or disregard the warning or reproaches of our hearts; but still,
mingling in the world as it is undoubtedly our duty to do--for as I have
often told you, we do not live for ourselves, but for others--we must
have due regard in minor things to the opinions of those with whom we
associate. When a woman has once set up for an Independent, when,
scorning the opinion of the world, she walks forth conscious in her own
integrity and virtue, though no stain may have sullied her conduct or
name, though she may be innately amiable and good, yet every gentler
female will shrink from such a character, and tremble lest they should
become like her. Women are dependent beings; in Infinite Wisdom it
was thus ordained, and why should we endeavour to be otherwise?
When once we set up a standard for ourselves, we have thrown aside
our surest safeguard, and exposed ourselves to censure and suspicion.
When the ordinances of society do not interfere with the higher
principle of our lives they should be obeyed, and in doing so we are
following up the dictates of true religion, by doing our duty as
members of a community, as children of one common father, which, if
we stand selfishly apart, we cannot do. I speak more of the opinion of
the world," mamma then continued, "to you than either to your sister or
your cousin. Caroline I would rather check in her perhaps too great
regard for admiration; and Ellen is at present too young, and in much

too delicate health, to go out with me as much as you will, even before
you are what is termed introduced: besides which, her natural reserve
and timidity banish all fears on that account for her. But for you,
Emmeline, I do sometimes feel fearful that, in the indulgence of
uncontrolled feeling, you will forget you are not quite such an
independent being as you were at Oakwood. Many of your ideas are
quite contrary to those generally entertained by several with whom you
may associate; and I sometimes dread that by their unchecked
expression, or the avowed determination never to think as your
companions do--that you hate such confined ideas, or some such thing,
which," and she smiled, "if I know my Emmeline rightly, is not at all
unlikely--you may be exposing yourself to suspicion and dislike. I feel
quite sure you never will wilfully offend, or that you will really deserve
such censure; all I wish is that you will be a little more guarded and
controlled in your intercourse with strangers here, than you ever were
in the happy halls of Oakwood."
I did not answer, my dear Mary; for I do not know why, but there was
something in her words that caused my eyes to fill with tears. I think it
was because it seemed such a painful task to maintain such a continued
control over my words and feelings, and mamma as usual divined the
cause of my sadness, even before I could define it myself.
"Do not look so very sad, my sweet girl," she said so fondly, that like a
simpleton I cried the more. "I do not wish to see you changed, however
different you may be to others. I do not wish to chill one feeling in this
affectionate little heart, nor check one burst of enthusiasm. Your
character has been and is too great a source of unalloyed pleasure to
your mother, my Emmeline; it would be misery indeed to see it in any
way changed, though I do preach control so very much," she continued,
more playfully, but with that same fond affection which, while it made
me cry, appeared to soothe every painful emotion. "We shall not
always be in society, Emmeline; come to me as of old, and tell me
every thought and feeling, and all that has given you pain or pleasure.
With me, dearest, there must