The Mind the Paint Girl | Page 8

GLADYS.] Yes, setting you an example, my girl. [Encountering FARNCOMBE.] Beg pardon.
[MAUD withdraws, closing the door, and FARNCOMBE stands looking at LILY, who is talking to JIMMIE. GLADYS carries the tray to the tea-table.
LILY.
[Become aware of FARNCOMBE'S presence and nodding to him.] How d'ye do?
FARNCOMBE.
[Moving a step or two towards her.] I-- I've been here before this afternoon. I ventured to bring you some flowers.
LILY.
[Going to him and shaking hands with him formally.] Nobody told me. Awfully kind of you. Where have they put them?
FARNCOMBE.
[Lifting his basket of flowers from off the piano and showing it to her.] Here.
LILY.
Pretty. [Pulling out a carnation.] Stick it up there again. [He replaces the basket.] You're Lord Farncombe, aren't you?
FARNCOMBE.
Yes.
LILY.
[With a glance at the others.] Know anybody here?
FARNCOMBE.
[Looking round the room.] Nearly everybody, I fancy. [He advances to VON RETTENMAYER, who comes to meet him. LILY sits upon the settee by the piano and fastens the carnation in her dress. GLADYS goes out.] Karl----!
VON RETTENMAYER.
My dear Eddie!
FARNCOMBE.
[Bowing to DE CASTRO, who is now seated beside JIMMIE on the settee in front of the writing-table.] How are you, Mr. de Castro? [To JEYES, who is standing by the chair at the writing-table gnawing his moustache and watching LILY and FARNCOMBE sourly.] How are you, Captain Jeyes? [Turning to BLAND.] How are you, Mr. Bland? [To LILY.] I've been talking to Mrs. Upjohn and Mr. Roper already.
LILY.
[Looking across to JIMMIE.] Miss Birch-- Lord Farncombe.
JIMMIE.
[Nodding to FARNCOMBE.] How d'ye do?
FARNCOMBE.
[Going to JIMMIE and shaking hands with her.] I-- I needn't say that I am one of Miss Birch's warmest-- most profound----
JIMMIE.
[Smiling at him.] That's all right; don't you bother about that.
[MAUD returns, carrying a pair of silken slippers. VON RETTENMAYER, who has come to LILY, makes a dart at the slippers and takes them from MAUD.
VON RETTENMAYER.
Aha! Permid me.
MAUD.
Now, Baron----! [Slapping his arm.] Ha, ha, ha----!
[He pushes MAUD out of the room, she resisting laughingly, and closes the door.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[Holding the slippers aloft.] Gendlemen! Homage to Beaudy! Vollow me! Zam! Vinzent! Rober! Neego! Eddie! [The men put themselves behind him, in single file, in the order in which he calls them, with the exception of JEYES, who deliberately sits at the writing-table, and FARNCOMBE, who is embarrassed. JIMMIE claps her hands and MRS. UPJOHN, who is pouring out tea, laughs herself into a fit of coughing.] Ta, ta, ra, ra, ta, ta! Boum, boum!
LILY.
Baron, you great baby!
VON RETTENMAYER.
Quig! Marge!
ROPER.
[Calling to FARNCOMBE.] Come along, Farncombe!
JIMMIE.
[Giving FARNCOMBE a shove.] Go on!
[FARNCOMBE takes his place behind ROPER and, headed by VON RETTENMAYER, the men march round the room.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[Waving the slippers in the air and singing.]
Weib, was ist in aller Welt Dir an Sch?nheit gleichgestellt! Reizumflossen, wunderhold, Perl' der Sch?pfung, Herzensgold! Tag's Gedanken, Traum der Nacht, Schweben um Dich, Süsse, sacht.
[VON RETTENMAYER halts before LILY and kneels to her. She extends her left foot and he kisses her instep and puts her foot into her slipper. She rewards him by lightly boxing his ears. He makes way for DE CASTRO, handing him the other slipper, and DE CASTRO performs the same ceremony with LILY'S right foot. She upsets DE CASTRO'S balance by a little kick.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[Seating himself beside JIMMIE, singing.]
Venus, seinen Nacken beut Dir Den Sklave, dienstbereit!
[DE CASTRO gathers himself up and sits in the chair at the end of the settee in front of the, writing-table. BLAND and ROPER, having knelt and kissed LILY'S foot, also sit, the former in the chair in the middle of the room, the latter in the chair on the extreme left. Finally, FARNCOMBE finds himself before LILY. He looks at her hesitatingly and she returns his look with awakened interest and withdraws her foot.
LILY.
[Shaking her head.] No, no; don't you be silly, like the others.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[Loudly.] Tea!
[BLAND, VON RETTENMAYER and DE CASTRO jump up and go to the tea-table where FARNCOMBE joins them. GLADYS enters, carrying a stand on which are a plate of bread-and-butter, a dish of cake, etc. ROPER takes the stand from her and the girl retires. FARNCOMBE brings LILY a cup of tea. DE CASTRO and BLAND follow him, the one with a milk-jug, the other with a sugar-basin. VON RETTENMAYER carries a cup of tea to JIMMIE, and then DE CASTRO and BLAND, having waited upon LILY, go to JIMMIE with the milk and sugar. ROPER hands the bread-and-butter and cake to LILY, then to JIMMIE, and in the end ROPER, BLAND, DE CASTRO and VON RETTENMAYER assemble at the tea-table and receive their cups of tea from MRS. UPJOHN.
ROPER.
[Relieving GLADYS of the stand.] Give it to me. I want a little exercise.
LILY.
[Taking her cup of tea from FARNCOMBE.] Thanks.
DE CASTRO.
[Helping LILY to milk.] Milk-ho!
BLAND.
Sugar?
LILY.
Br-r-r-rh! I'm putting on weight as it is.
ROPER.
[Offering the bread-and-butter, etc.-- facetiously.] Ices, sweets or chocolates, full piano-score!
LILY.
Nothing to eat, Uncle; I dine