The Mind the Paint Girl | Page 7

thick, guttural tones-- advancing to LILY.] Aha, goddess! [Gladys withdraws.] Many habby returns of the day!
LILY.
H'sh! I'm busy for a moment, Baron.
VON RETTENMAYER.
[To LILY-- shaking hands with BLAND.] A thousand bardons.
LILY.
Talk to mother and Jimmie.
VON RETTENMAYER.
With bleasure. [Going to MRS. UPJOHN and ROPER and shaking hands with them.] How are you, my dear Ma? How are you, Jimmie? [Waving a hand to ROPER and JEYES.] My dear Rober! My dear Neegolas!
JIMMIE.
[To VON RETTENMAYER, mimicking him.] Rober! Neegolas! Why don't they provide you with throat lozenges at the Embassy, Baron?
[VON RETTENMAYER laughs. LILY has quickly opened a drawer in the writing-table and produced a cheque-book. After another glance over her shoulder, she sweeps the presents aside and writes. Then she replaces the cheque-book, rises, and returns to BLAND. Again there is a loud guffaw from VON RETTENMAYER in response to some sally of JIMMIE'S.
LILY.
[To BLAND, folding a cheque and slipping it into his hand.] Promise-- promise you won't make another bet.
BLAND.
[Unfolding the cheque.] Your cheque?
LILY.
[Hastily.] Put it in your pocket.
BLAND.
A blank one.
LILY.
[In a whisper.] Don't fill it in for more than you can help. I'm not over flush.
[He deliberately tears the cheque into four pieces and, looking at her steadily, puts them into his waistcoat-pocket.
BLAND.
[As he does so.] I'll keep those, Lil, for as long as I keep anything.
LILY.
[Hotly.] You fool, Vincent!
BLAND.
My dear, as if----!
LILY.
Such ridiculous pride! [Stamping her foot.] Lord, what I owe to you!
[GLADYS enters with SAM DE CASTRO. GLADYS is carrying a lace-edged table-cloth which, assisted by MRS. UPJOHN, she proceeds to lay upon the tea-table.
BLAND.
[Moving away to join the others-- to DE CASTRO.] Ha, Sam!
DE CASTRO.
[A stout, coarse, but genial-looking gentleman of forty, of marked Jewish appearance, speaking with a lisp-- shaking hands with LILY.] How are you to-day, Lil? Many happy returnth, wunth more.
LILY.
Thanks, dear old boy. [Sitting on the settee in front of the writing-table.] Did I send you a wire this morning?
DE CASTRO.
Not you; not a thix-pen'north.
LILY.
I ought to have done so, to acknowledge your-- what was it?
DE CASTRO.
A ring-- diamondth and thapphires.
LILY.
Ah, yes; beautiful.
DE CASTRO.
It ith rather a nithe ring. [Lowering his voice.] But I thay.
LILY.
What?
DE CASTRO.
Mind you don't go and tell Gabth, on any account.
LILY.
[With a great assumption of ignorance, raising her eyebrows.] Gabs?
DE CASTRO.
Gabrielle-- Mith Kato.
LILY.
Why shouldn't I?
DE CASTRO.
Nonsenth; you know very well. [Urgently.] You won't, will you?
LILY.
[Shrugging her shoulders.] I won't if I remember not to.
DE CASTRO.
[Alarmed.] Ah, now, don't be thtupid! Whath the good o' making mithchief! [LILY shows him the tip of her tongue.] Oh, Lil! [GLADYS goes out.] Lil----!
VON RETTENMAYER.
[Leaving the group at the back and putting an arm round DE CASTRO'S shoulder.] My dear friend Zam!
DE CASTRO.
How are you, Baron? [Going to MRS. UPJOHN.] Afthernoon, Ma! [Nodding to JIMMIE and ROPER.] Afthernoon, everybody! [Shaking hands with JEYES, who has risen and now joins the group.] How are you, Nicko?
LILY.
[Giving her hand to VON RETTENMAYER.] Excuse me for cutting you short when you came in. Thanks for your splendid present. I did send you a wire, didn't I?
VON RETTENMAYER.
[Kissing her hand and bowing over it.] I shall breserve it, with a few oder souvenirs, till the end of my life.
LILY.
[Withdrawing her hand and blowing the compliment away.] Phew! Lal, lal, lal, la!
VON RETTENMAYER.
[In an altered tone, after a cautious look round.] Goddess.
LILY.
Eh?
VON RETTENMAYER.
[Anxiously.] My drifling liddle offering-- I endreat you not to mention it to Enid.
LILY.
[Laughing heartily.] Ha, ha, ha, ha! Another of you!
VON RETTENMAYER.
The gharming Miss Mongreiff.
LILY.
[Seriously.] Baron, I wish you boys wouldn't make me presents and then ask me to keep them a secret from the other girls.
VON RETTENMAYER.
And I-- I wish it were not nezezzary. But, goddess, you are alzo a young lady of the world-- you know what women are.
LILY.
H'm! I know what you men are.
[MAUD, a buxom young woman with a good-tempered face, dressed as a lady's-maid, enters quickly, tying her apron, and runs to LILY. JEYES comes to the further side of the writing-table and VON RETTENMAYER now joins him there. JIMMIE BIRCH also comes forward, accompanied by DE CASTRO.
MAUD.
[To LILY.] Here, give me your things. [LILY tosses her hat, scarf, and gloves to MAUD.] I was in my room, having a lie down. Is my hair untidy?
LILY.
I've never seen it anything else.
MAUD.
[Merrily.] Ha, ha, ha! [To JIMMIE and DE CASTRO.] Afternoon, Miss Jimmie. Afternoon, Mr. de Castro. [To LILY.] Now, don't let them all tire you to death, there's a pet.
LILY.
Oh, clear out. [As MAUD is departing.] Hi! [Rising and kicking off her shoes and sending them in MAUD'S direction.] Fetch me a pair of slippers.
MAUD.
[Picking up the shoes and chuckling.] He, he, he!
[When MAUD reaches the door, which she has left open, GLADYS appears with the tea-tray and with FARNCOMBE at her heels.
GLADYS.
[To MAUD, in a low voice, witheringly.] Oh, you're doing something, are you?
MAUD.
[In the same tone, passing