The Merry Wives of Windsor

The Merry Wives of Windsor

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by William Shakespeare PG has multiple editions of William Shakespeare's Complete Works
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Title: The Merry Wives of Windsor
Author: William Shakespeare [Craig, Oxford edition]
Release Date: November, 1998 [EBook #1517] [Most recently updated: September 24, 2003]
Edition: 10
Language: English
Character set encoding: US-ASCII
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR ***

This etext was prepared by the PG Shakespeare Team, a team of about twenty Project Gutenberg volunteers.

THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR
by William Shakespeare

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
SIR JOHN FALSTAFF FENTON, a young gentleman SHALLOW, a country justice SLENDER, cousin to Shallow FORD, Gentleman dwelling at Windsor PAGE, Gentleman dwelling at Windsor WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician HOST of the Garter Inn BARDOLPH, PISTOL, NYM, Followers of Falstaff ROBIN, page to Falstaff SIMPLE, servant to Slender RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius
MISTRESS FORD MISTRESS PAGE MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter, in love with Fenton MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius SERVANTS to Page, Ford, &c.
SCENE: Windsor; and the neighbourhood
The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT I.
SCENE 1. Windsor. Before PAGE'S house.
[Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.]
SHALLOW. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
SLENDER. In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and 'coram.'
SHALLOW. Ay, cousin Slender, and 'cust-alorum.'
SLENDER. Ay, and 'rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson, who writes himself 'armigero' in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation--'armigero.'
SHALLOW. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
SLENDER. All his successors, gone before him, hath done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.
SHALLOW. It is an old coat.
EVANS. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
SHALLOW. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.
SLENDER. I may quarter, coz?
SHALLOW. You may, by marrying.
EVANS. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW. Not a whit.
EVANS. Yes, py'r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.
SHALLOW. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
EVANS. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
SHALLOW. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
EVANS. It is petter that friends is the sword and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
EVANS. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!--give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHALLOW. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
EVANS. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
SHALLOW. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
EVANS. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
SHALLOW. Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
EVANS. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do