The Merry Wives of Windsor | Page 4

go wait upon my cousin Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE.]

A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man. I
keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead. But what
though? Yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you
come.
SLENDER. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I
did.
ANNE. I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th'
other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence;
three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes--and, by my troth, I cannot
abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there
bears i' the town?
ANNE. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
SLENDER. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any
man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
ANNE. Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER. That's meat and drink to me now. I have seen Sackerson
loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but I warrant you,
the women have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed; but women,
indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
[Re-enter PAGE.]
PAGE. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
SLENDER. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE. By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.
SLENDER. Nay, pray you lead the way.
PAGE. Come on, sir.
SLENDER. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE. Not I, sir; pray you keep on.
SLENDER. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do you that
wrong.
ANNE. I pray you, sir.
SLENDER. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do
yourself wrong indeed, la!
[Exeunt.]

SCENE 2. The same.

[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.]
EVANS. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which is the
way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of
his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and
his wringer.
SIMPLE. Well, sir.
EVANS. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that
altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page; and the letter is to
desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to Mistress Anne
Page. I pray you be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there's
pippins and cheese to come.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE 3. A room in the Garter Inn.
[Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and
ROBIN.]
FALSTAFF. Mine host of the Garter!
HOST. What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.
FALSTAFF. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
HOST. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.
FALSTAFF. I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST. Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I will
entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I well, bully
Hector?
FALSTAFF. Do so, good mine host.
HOST. I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me see thee
froth and lime. I am at a word; follow.
[Exit.]
FALSTAFF. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade; an old
cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man a fresh tapster. Go;
adieu.
BARDOLPH. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
PISTOL. O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot wield?
[Exit BARDOLPH.]
NYM. He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?
FALSTAFF. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his thefts were
too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer--he kept not time.
NYM. The good humour is to steal at a minim's rest.

PISTOL. 'Convey' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! A fico for the phrase!
FALSTAFF. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL. Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.
PISTOL. Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF. Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL. I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
FALSTAFF. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
PISTOL. Two yards, and more.
FALSTAFF. No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist two yards
about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do
mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she
discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe
the action of her familiar style; and the