The Merry Wives of Windsor | Page 3

in the red face had it; for though I
cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not
altogether an ass.
FALSTAFF. What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH. Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk
himself out of his five sentences.
EVANS. It is his 'five senses'; fie, what the ignorance is!
BARDOLPH. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so
conclusions passed the careires.
SLENDER. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter; I'll ne'er
be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for
this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of
God, and not with drunken knaves.
EVANS. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
[Enter ANNE PAGE with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS
PAGE.]

PAGE. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE.]
SLENDER. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.
PAGE. How now, Mistress Ford!
FALSTAFF. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by
your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her.]
PAGE. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot
venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down
all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS.]
SLENDER. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs
and Sonnets here.
[Enter SIMPLE.]
How, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I?
You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?
SIMPLE. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake
upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
SHALLOW. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you,
coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made
afar off by Sir Hugh here: do you understand me?
SLENDER. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do
that that is reason.
SHALLOW. Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER. So I do, sir.
EVANS. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the
matter to you, if you pe capacity of it.
SLENDER. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says; I pray you
pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand
here.
EVANS. But that is not the question; the question is concerning your
marriage.
SHALLOW. Ay, there's the point, sir.
EVANS. Marry is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.
SLENDER. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable
demands.
EVANS. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know
that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the

lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your
good will to the maid?
SHALLOW. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
SLENDER. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do
reason.
EVANS. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if
you can carry her your desires towards her.
SHALLOW. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
SLENDER. I will do a greater thing than that upon your request, cousin,
in any reason.
SHALLOW. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to
pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
SLENDER. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no
great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better
acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know
one another; I hope upon familiarity will grow more contempt. But if
you say 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and
dissolutely.
EVANS. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fall is in the ort
'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our meaning, 'resolutely.' His
meaning is good.
SHALLOW. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
SHALLOW. Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
[Re-enter ANNE PAGE.]
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
ANNE. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships'
company.
SHALLOW. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne!
EVANS. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS.]
ANNE. Will't please your worship to come in, sir?
SLENDER. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
ANNE. The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all
you are my man,