The McNaughtens | Page 3

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THE MCNAUGHTENS
A play based on the Menechemes of Regnard
Translated and adapted by F. J. Morlock C 1986 by F. J. Morlock

CHARACTERS
McNaughten Captain McNaughten Mr. Hastings, Flavella's father
Flavella, his daughter Urania, Hastings' older sister Jenny, Urania's
maid Spruce, the Captain's valet Mr. Torrington, a solicitor Squire Mr.
Bronlow, a merchant

ACT I.
Scene I. A street in London. Captain McNaughten comes in, looking
for his valet.
Captain I am quite beside myself. A curse on Spruce! I think he was
born for the sole purpose of enraging me. I am not going to put up with
him any longer. The scoundrel always tries my patience to the limits.
He knows very well that I am waiting for him on tenterhooks-- But
now I see him coming. Where have you been, rogue? Tell me.
(Spruce enters, carrying a heavy trunk which he first puts down and
then sits on, without responding to the Captain.)

Captain Speak, reply!
Spruce For the moment, sir, I have nothing to say. Let me get my
breath a moment, please--I'm totally winded.
Captain Do you always intend to put me in a fury and then play with
me? I don't know what prevents me from giving you a beating. What,
you rogue, just to go off to the custom house to get my trunk, takes you
all day?
Spruce Oh, sir, customs inspectors are terrible men. All the savages in
the world are less barbarous. They can only talk in monosyllables. "yes,
no, what, sir?