The Laws of Etiquette | Page 4

point out an error which is often committed both
in practice and opinion, and which consists in confounding together the
gentleman and the man of fashion. No two characters can be more
distinct than these. Good sense and self-respect are the foundations of
the one--notoriety and influence the objects of the other. Men of
fashion are to be seen everywhere: a pure and mere gentleman is the
rarest thing alive. Brummel was a man of fashion; but it would be a
perversion of terms to apply to him "a very expressive word in our
language,--a word, denoting an assemblage of many real virtues and of

many qualities approaching to virtues, and an union of manners at once
pleasing and commanding respect,-- the word gentleman."* The
requisites to compose this last character are natural ease of manner, and
an acquaintance with the "outward habit of encounter"--dignity and
self- possession--a respect for all the decencies of life, and perfect
freedom from all affectation. Dr. Johnson's bearing during his interview
with the king showed him to be a thorough gentleman, and
demonstrates how rare and elevated that character is. When his majesty
expressed in the language of compliment his high opinion of Johnson's
merits, the latter bowed in silence. If Chesterfield could have retained
sufficient presence of mind to have done the same on such an occasion,
he would have applauded himself to the end of his days. So delicate is
the nature of those qualities that constitute a gentleman, that there is but
one exhibition of this description of persons in all the literary and
dramatic fictions from Shakespeare downward. Scott has not attempted
it. Bulwer, in "Pelham," has shot wide of the mark. It was reserved for
the author of two very singular productions, "Sydenham" and its
continuation "Alice Paulet"--works of extraordinary merits and
extraordinary faults--to portray this character completely, in the person
of Mr. Paulet
* Charles Butler's Reminiscences



CHAPTER II.
DRESS.
First impressions are apt to be permanent; it is therefore of importance
that they should be favourable. The dress of an individual is that
circumstance from which you first form your opinion of him. It is even
more prominent than manner, It is indeed the only thing which is
remarked in a casual encounter, or during the first interview. It,

therefore, should be the first care.
What style is to our thoughts, dress is to our persons. It may supply the
place of more solid qualities, and without it the most solid are of little
avail. Numbers have owed their elevation to their attention to the toilet.
Place, fortune, marriage have all been lost by neglecting it. A man need
not mingle long with the world to find occasion to exclaim with
Sedaine, "Ah! mon habit, que je vous remercie!" In spite of the proverb,
the dress often does make the monk.
Your dress should always be consistent with your age and your natural
exterior. That which looks outr, on one man, will be agreeable on
another. As success in this respect depends almost entirely upon
particular circumstances and personal peculiarities, it is impossible to
give general directions of much importance. We can only point out the
field for study and research; it belongs to each one's own genius and
industry to deduce the results. However ugly you may be, rest assured
that there is some style of habiliment which will make you passable.
If, for example, you have a stain upon your cheek which rivals in
brilliancy the best Chateau-Margout; or, are afflicted with a nose whose
lustre dims the ruby, you may employ such hues of dress, that the eye,
instead of being shocked by the strangeness of the defect, will be
charmed by the graceful harmony of the colours. Every one cannot
indeed be an Adonis, but it is his own fault if he is an Esop.
If you have bad, squinting eyes, which have lost their lashes and are
bordered with red, you should wear spectacles. If the defect be great,
your glasses should be coloured. In such cases emulate the sky rather
than the sea: green spectacles are an abomination, fitted only for
students in divinity,-- blue ones are respectable and even _distingue._
Almost every defect of face may be concealed by a judicious use and
arrangement of hair. Take care, however, that your hair be not of one
colour and your whiskers of another; and let your wig be large enough
to cover the whole of your red or white hair.
It is evident, therefore, that though a man may be ugly, there is no

necessity for his being shocking. Would that all men were convinced of
this! I verily believe that if Mr. -- in his walking-dress, and Mr. -- in his
evening costume were to meet alone, in some solitary