The Law and Lawyers of Pickwick | Page 8

of a contested election, and found their way to the
agent's room.
"Ah--ah, my dear sir," said the little man, advancing to meet him; "very
happy to see you, my dear sir, very. Pray sit down. So you have carried
your intention into effect. You have come down here to see an
election--eh?"
Mr. Pickwick replied in the affirmative.
"Spirited contest, my dear sir," said the little man.
"I'm delighted to hear it," said Mr. Pickwick, rubbing his hands. "I like
to see sturdy patriotism, on whatever side it is called forth;--and so it's a
spirited contest?"
"Oh, yes," said the little man, "very much so indeed. We have opened
all the public-houses in the place, and left our adversary nothing but the
beer-shops--masterly stroke of policy that, my dear sir, eh?"
The little man smiled complacently, and took a large pinch of snuff.
"And what are the probabilities as to the result of the contest?" inquired
Mr. Pickwick.
"Why, doubtful, my dear sir; rather doubtful as yet," replied the little
man. "Fizkin's people have got three-and-thirty voters in the lock-up
coach-house at the White Hart."
"In the coach-house!" said Mr. Pickwick, considerably astonished by
this second stroke of policy.
"They keep 'em locked up there till they want 'em," resumed the little
man. "The effect of that is, you see, to prevent our getting at them; and
even if we could, it would be of no use, for they keep them very drunk

on purpose. Smart fellow Fizkin's agent--very smart fellow indeed."
Mr. Pickwick stared, but said nothing.
"We are pretty confident, though," said Mr. Perker, sinking his voice
almost to a whisper. "We had a little tea-party here last night--five-
and-forty women, my dear sir--and gave every one of 'em a green
parasol when she went away."
"A parasol?" said Mr. Pickwick.
"Fact, my dear sir, fact. Five-and-forty green parasols at seven and
sixpence a-piece. All women like finery--extraordinary the effect of
those parasols. Secured all their husbands, and half their brothers--beat
stockings, and flannel, and all that sort of thing hollow. My idea, my
dear sir, entirely. Hail, rain, or sunshine, you can't walk half-a-dozen
yards up the street without encountering half- a-dozen green parasols."
On the day of the election the stable yard exhibited unequivocal
symptoms of the glory and strength of the Eatanswill Blues. There was
a regular army of blue flags, some with one handle, and some with two,
exhibiting appropriate devices, in golden characters four feet high, and
stout in proportion. There was a grand band of trumpets, bassoons, and
drums, marshalled four abreast, and earning their money, if ever men
did, especially the drum beaters, who were very muscular. There were
bodies of constables with blue staves, twenty committee men with blue
scarves, and a mob of voters with blue cockades. There were electors
on horseback and electors on foot. There was an open carriage and four,
for the Honourable Samuel Slumkey; and there were four carriages and
pair, for his friends and supporters; and the flags were rustling, and the
band was playing, and the constables were swearing, and the twenty
committee men were squabbling, and the mob were shouting, and the
horses were backing, and the post-boys were perspiring; and everybody,
and everything, then and there assembled, was for the special use,
behoof, honour, and renown, of the Honourable Samuel Slumkey, of
Slumkey Hall, one of the candidates for the representation of the
Borough of Eatanswill, in the Commons House of Parliament of the
United Kingdom.

Loud and long were the cheers, and mighty was the rustling of one of
the blue flags, with "Liberty of the Press" inscribed thereon, when the
sandy head of Mr. Pott was discerned in one of the windows by the
mob beneath; and tremendous was the enthusiasm when the
Honourable Samuel Slumkey himself, in top boots, and a blue
neckerchief, advanced and seized the hand of the said Pott, and
melodramatically testified by gestures to the crowd his ineffaceable
obligations to the Eatanswill Gazette.
"Is everything ready?" said the Honourable Samuel Slumkey to Mr.
Perker.
"Everything, my dear sir," was the little man's reply.
"Nothing has been omitted, I hope?" said the Honourable Samuel
Slumkey.
"Nothing has been left undone, my dear sir--nothing whatever. There
are twenty washed men at the street door for you to shake hands with;
and six children in arms that you're to pat on the head, and inquire the
age of; be particular about the children, my dear sir,--it has always a
great effect, that sort of thing."
"I'll take care," said the Honourable Samuel Slumkey.
"And perhaps, my dear sir," said the cautious little man, "perhaps if you
could--I don't mean to say it's indispensable--but if you could manage
to kiss one of 'em it would produce a very great