The Judge | Page 6

Rebecca West

capable; while the darker side of destiny was as inadequately
represented by Æneas Walkinshaw, the last Jacobite, whom at the very
moment Ellen could see standing under the lamp-post at the corner, in
the moulting haberdashery of his wind-draggled kilts and lace ruffles,
cramming treasonable correspondence into a pillar-box marked G.R....
She wanted people to be as splendid as the countryside, as noble as the

mountains, as variable within the limits of beauty as the Firth of Forth,
and this was what they were really like. She wept undisguisedly.
II
"What ails you, Miss Melville?" asked Mr. Philip James. He had lit the
gas and seen that she was crying.
At first she said, "Nothing." But there grew out of her gratitude to this
family a feeling that it was necessary, or at least decent, that she should
always answer them with the cleanest candour. As one rewards the man
who has restored a lost purse by giving him some of the coins in it, so
she shared with them, by the most exact explanation of her motives
whenever they were asked for, the self which they had saved. So she
added, "It's just that I'm bored. Nothing ever happens to me!"
Mr. Philip had hoped she was going to leave it at that "Nothing," and
bore her a grudge for her amplification at the same time that the way
she looked when she made it swept him into sympathy. Indeed, he
always felt about the lavish gratitude with which Ellen laid her
personality at the disposal of the firm rather as the Englishman who
finds the Chinaman whom he saved from death the day before sitting
on his verandah in the expectation of being kept for the rest of his life
that his rescuer has forced upon him. It was true that she was an
excellent shorthand-typist, but she vexed the decent grey by her
vividness. The sight of her through an open door, sitting at her
typewriter in her blue linen overall, dispersed one's thoughts; it was as
if a wireless found its waves jammed by another instrument. Often he
found himself compelled to abandon his train of ideas and apprehend
her experiences: to feel a little tired himself if she drooped over her
machine, to imagine, as she pinned on her tam-o'-shanter and ran down
the stairs, how the cold air would presently prick her smooth skin. Yet
these apprehensions were quite uncoloured by any emotional tone. It
was simply that she was essentially conspicuous, that one had to watch
her as one watches a very tall man going through a crowd. Even now,
instead of registering disapproval at her moodiness, he was looking at
her red hair and thinking how it radiated flame through the twilight of
her dark corner, although in the sunlight it always held the softness of

the dusk. That was characteristic of her tendency always to differ from
the occasion. He had once seen her at a silly sort of picnic where
everybody was making a great deal of noise and playing rounders, and
she had sat alone under a tree. And once, as he was walking along
Princes Street on a cruel day when there was an easterly ha'ar blowing
off the Firth, she had stepped towards him out of the drizzle, not seeing
him but smiling sleepily. It was strange how he remembered all these
things, for he had never liked her very much.
He put his papers on the table and sat down by the fire. "Well, what
should happen? No news is good news, I've heard!"
She continued to disclose herself to him without the impediment of
shyness, for he was unattractive to her because he had an Edinburgh
accent and always carried an umbrella. He was so like hundreds of
young men in the town, dark and sleek-headed and sturdily under-sized,
with an air of sagacity and consciously shrewd eyes under a projecting
brow, that it seemed like uttering one's complaint before a jury or some
other representative body. She believed, too, that he was not one of the
impeccable and happy to whom one dare not disclose one's need for
pity, for she was sure that the clipped speech that slid through his
half-opened mouth was a sign that secretly he was timid and ashamed.
So she cried honestly, "I'm so dull that I'll die. You and Mr. James are
awfully good to me, and I can put up with Mr. Morrison, though he's a
doited old thing, and I like my work, but coming here in the morning
and going home at night, day in and day out, it drives me crazy. I don't
know what's the matter with me, but I want to run away to new places
and see new people. This morning I was
Continue reading on your phone by scaning this QR Code

 / 244
Tip: The current page has been bookmarked automatically. If you wish to continue reading later, just open the Dertz Homepage, and click on the 'continue reading' link at the bottom of the page.