The Infernal Marriage | Page 9

repose that now
pervades my exhausted frame. Is it possible that that damned stone can
really have disappeared?'
'You say truly,' said Ixion, 'the couches of Olympus cannot compare
with this resting wheel.'
'Noble Sisyphus,' rejoined Tantalus, 'we are both of us acquainted with
the cause of our companion's presence in those infernal regions, since

his daring exploit has had the good fortune of being celebrated by one
of the fashionable authors of this part of the world.'
'I have never had time to read his work,' interrupted Ixion. 'What sort of
a fellow is he?'
'One of the most conceited dogs that I ever met with,' replied the King.
'He thinks he is a great genius, and perhaps he has some little talent for
the extravagant.'
'Are there any critics in Hell?'
'Myriads. They abound about the marshes of Cocytus, where they croak
furiously. They are all to a man against our author.'
'That speaks more to his credit than his own self-opinion,' rejoined
Ixion.
'A nous moutons!' exclaimed Tantalus; 'I was about to observe that I am
curious to learn for what reason our friend Sisyphus was doomed to his
late terrible exertions.'
'For the simplest in the world,' replied the object of the inquiry;
'because I was not a hypocrite. No one ever led a pleasanter life than
myself, and no one was more popular in society. I was considered, as
they phrased it, the most long-headed prince of my time, and was in
truth a finished man of the world. I had not an acquaintance whom I
had not taken in, and gods and men alike favoured me. In an unlucky
moment, however, I offended the infernal deities, and it was then
suddenly discovered that I was the most abandoned character of my age.
You know the rest.'
'You seem,' exclaimed Tantalus, 'to be relating my own history; for I
myself led a reckless career with impunity, until some of the gods did
me the honour of dining with me, and were dissatisfied with the repast.
I am convinced myself that, provided a man frequent the temples, and
observe with strictness the sacred festivals, such is the force of public
opinion, that there is no crime which he may not commit without

hazard.'
'Long live hypocrisy!' exclaimed Ixion. 'It is not my forte. But if I
began life anew, I would be more observant in my sacrifices.'
'Who could have anticipated this wonderful revolution!' exclaimed
Sisyphus, stretching himself. 'I wonder what will occur next! Perhaps
we shall be all released.'
'You say truly,' said Ixion. 'I am grateful to our reforming Queen; but I
have no idea of stopping here. This cursed wheel indeed no longer
whirls; but I confess my expectations will be much disappointed if I
cannot free myself from these adamantine bonds that fix me to its orb.'
'And one cannot drink water for ever,' said Tantalus.
'D--n all half measures,' said Ixion. 'We must proceed in this system of
amelioration.'
'Without doubt,' responded his companion.
'The Queen must have a party,' continued the audacious lover of Juno.
'The Fates and the Furies never can be conciliated. It is evident to me
that she must fall unless she unbinds these chains of mine.'
'And grants me full liberty of egress and regress,' exclaimed Sisyphus.
'And me a bottle of the finest golden wine of Lydia,' said Tantalus.
The infernal honeymoon was over. A cloud appeared in the hitherto
serene heaven of the royal lovers. Proserpine became unwell. A
mysterious languor pervaded her frame; her accustomed hilarity
deserted her. She gave up her daily rides; she never quitted the palace,
scarcely her chamber. All day long she remained lying on a sofa, and
whenever Pluto endeavoured to console her she went into hysterics. His
Majesty was quite miserable, and the Fates and the Furies began to
hold up their heads. The two court physicians could throw no light
upon the complaint, which baffled all their remedies. These, indeed,

were not numerous, for the two physicians possessed each only one
idea. With one every complaint was nervous; the other traced
everything to the liver. The name of the first was Dr. Blue-Devil; and
of the other Dr. Blue-Pill. They were most eminent men.
Her Majesty, getting worse every day, Pluto, in despair, determined to
send for Æsculapius. It was a long way to send for a physician; but then
he was the most fashionable one in the world. He cared not how far he
travelled to visit a patient, because he was paid by the mile; and it was
calculated that his fee for quitting earth, and attending the Queen of
Hell, would allow him to leave off business.
What a wise physician was Æsculapius! Physic was his abhorrence. He
never was known, in the whole course of