The Infernal Marriage | Page 8

the presence of Jove.
'Father of gods and men,' said the majestic mother of Proserpine, 'listen
to a distracted parent! All my hopes were centred in my daughter, the
daughter of whom you have deprived me. Is it for this that I endured
the pangs of childbirth? Is it for this that I suckled her on this miserable
bosom? Is it for this that I tended her girlish innocence, watched with
vigilant fondness the development of her youthful mind, and cultured
with a thousand graces and accomplishments her gifted and unrivalled
promise? to lose her for ever!'
'Beloved Bona Dea,' replied Jove, 'calm yourself!'
'Jupiter, you forget that I am a mother.'
'It is the recollection of that happy circumstance that alone should make
you satisfied.'
'Do you mock me? Where is my daughter?'
'In the very situation you should desire. In her destiny all is fulfilled
which the most affectionate mother could hope. What was the object of
all your care and all her accomplishments? a good parti; and she has
found one.'
'To reign in Hell!'
'"Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven." What! would you have
had her a cup-bearer, like Hebe, or a messenger, like Hermes? Was the
daughter of Jove and Ceres to be destined to a mere place in our
household! Lady! she is the object of envy to half the goddesses.
Bating our own bed, which she could not share, what lot more
distinguished than hers? Recollect that goddesses, who desire a

becoming match, have a very limited circle to elect from. Even Venus
was obliged to put up with Vulcan. It will not do to be too nice. Thank
your stars that she is not an old maid like Minerva.'
'But Mars? he loved her.'
'A young officer only with his half-pay, however good his connections,
is surely not a proper mate for our daughter.'
'Apollo?'
'I have no opinion of a literary son-in-law. These scribblers are at
present the fashion, and are very well to ask to dinner; but I confess a
more intimate connection with them is not at all to my taste.'
'I meet Apollo everywhere.'
'The truth is, he is courted because every one is afraid of him. He is the
editor of a daily journal, and under the pretence of throwing light upon
every subject, brings a great many disagreeable things into notice,
which is excessively inconvenient. Nobody likes to be paragraphed;
and for my part I should only be too happy to extinguish the Sun and
every other newspaper were it only in my power.'
'But Pluto is so old, and so ugly, and, all agree, so ill-tempered.'
'He has a splendid income, a magnificent estate; his settlements are
worthy of his means. This ought to satisfy a mother; and his political
influence is necessary to me, and this satisfies a father.'
'But the heart-----'
'As for that, she fancies she loves him; and whether she do or not, these
feelings, we know, never last. Rest assured, my dear Ceres, that our girl
has made a brilliant match, in spite of the gloomy atmosphere in which
she has to reside.'
'It must end in misery. I know Proserpine. I confess it with tears, she is
a spoiled child.'

'This may occasion Pluto many uneasy moments; but that is nothing to
you or me. Between ourselves, I shall not be at all surprised if she
plague his life out.'
'But how can she consort with the Fates? How is it possible for her to
associate with the Furies? She, who is used to the gayest and most
amiable society in the world? Indeed, indeed, 'tis an ill-assorted union!'
'They are united, however; and, take my word for it, my dear madam,
that you had better leave Pluto alone. The interference of a
mother-in-law is proverbially never very felicitous.'
In the meantime affairs went on swimmingly in Tartarus. The obstinate
Fates and the sulky Furies were unwittingly the cause of universal
satisfaction. Everyone enjoyed himself, and enjoyment when it is
unexpected is doubly satisfactory. Tantalus, Sisyphus, and Ixion, for
the first time during their punishment, had an opportunity for a little
conversation.
'Long live our reforming Queen,' said the ex-king of Lydia. 'You cannot
conceive, my dear companions, anything more delightful than this
long-coveted draught of cold water; its flavour far surpasses the
memory of my choicest wines. And as for this delicious fruit, one must
live in a hot climate, like our present one, sufficiently to appreciate its
refreshing gust. I would, my dear friends, you could only share my
banquet.'
'Your Majesty is very kind,' replied Sisyphus, 'but it seems to me that
nothing in the world will ever induce me again to move. One must have
toiled for ages to comprehend the rapturous sense of