The Great Adventure | Page 3

message.... But--the fact is, we're rather upset here for the moment.
JANET. Yes. Illness.
CARVE. Now, if it isn't an indiscreet question, how did you know that there was illness?
JANET. I was standing looking at this house and wondering whether I shouldn't do better to go right back home there and then. But "No," I said, "I've begun, and I'll go through with it."--Well, I was standing there when what should I see but a parlour maid pop up from the area steps next door, and she says to me over the railings, "The doctor's just been." Just like that, excited. So I said, "Thank you, miss." I hope it's nothing serious?
CARVE. Pneumonia.
JANET. Pneumonia. What a mercy!
CARVE. Mercy?
JANET. If you look at it sensibly it's about the best illness anybody could have in hot weather like this. You've got to keep them warm. The weather does it for you. If it was typhoid now, and you'd got to keep them cool--that would be awkward. Not but it passes me how anybody can catch pneumonia in August.
CARVE. Coming over from the Continent.
JANET. Oh! the Continent. It's not Mr. Shawn that's ill?
CARVE. (Hesitating.) Mr. Shawn? Oh no, no! It's Ilam Carve.
JANET. (Half whispering. Awed.) Oh, him! Poor thing. And nobody but men in the house.
CARVE. And who told you that?
JANET. Well! (waves her hand to indicate the state of the room, smiling indulgently) I always feel sorry for gentlemen when they have to manage for themselves, even if they're well and hearty. But when it comes to illness--I can't bear to think about it. Still, everybody has their own notions of comfort. And I've no doubt he'll very soon be better.
CARVE. You think he will?
JANET. (Blandly cheerful.) As a general rule, you may say that people do get better. That's my experience. Of course sometimes they take a longish time. And now and then one dies--else what use would cemeteries be? But as a general rule they're soon over it. Now am I going to see Mr. Shawn, or shall I----
CARVE. Well, if you could call again----
JANET. You say you hadn't a message?
CARVE. Not precisely a message. But if you could call again----
JANET. When?
CARVE. (Rather eagerly.) Any time. Any time. Soon.
JANET. Night after to-morrow?
CARVE. Why not morning?
JANET. Perhaps morning is safer. Thank you. Very well, then. Day after to-morrow.... I suppose Mr. Shawn has a rare fine situation here?
CARVE. (Shrugging his shoulders.) Nothing to complain of, if you ask me.
(JANET offers her hand quite simply. The double doors open, CARVE looks alarmed.)
JANET. Thank you very much. I think I can open the front door myself.
CARVE. I say--you won't forget?
JANET. Well, what do you think?
(Exit, L.)
(Enter DR. PASCOE through double doors.)
PASCOE. (At double doors, to HORNING invisible behind.) Then there's no reason why the nurse at Edith Grove shouldn't come along here.
HORNING. (Off.) Yes. She'll be free in an hour.
PASCOE. All right. I'll look in there.
HORNING. (Nervous.) What am I to do if his respiration----
PASCOE. (Interrupting.) Don't worry. I'm not gone yet. I must just clean up my hypodermic. Shut those doors.
(HORNING obeys.)
CARVE. What's this about a nurse?
PASCOE. (Busy with syringe, water, and syringe-case.) I'm sending one in. (Ironically.) Do you see any objection?
CARVE. On the contrary, I should like him to be treated with every care. He's invaluable to me.
PASCOE. (Staggered.) Invaluable to you! Of course in my line of business I get used to meeting odd people----
CARVE. (Recovering from his mistake.) But you think I carry oddness rather far?
PASCOE. The idea did pass through my mind.
CARVE. Nervousness--nothing but nervousness. I'm very nervous. And then--you know the saying--like master, like man.
PASCOE. (Indicating back room with a gesture; in a slightly more confidential tone as CARVE'S personal attractiveness gains on him.) Mr. Carve odd?
CARVE. Oh, very. Always was. Ever since I've known him. You remember his first picture at the Academy?
PASCOE. No, not exactly.
CARVE. Either you remember it exactly or you don't remember it at all. Life-size picture of a policeman blowing his whistle.
PASCOE. Yes; it must have been odd, that must.
CARVE. Not a bit. The oddness of the fellow----
PASCOE. What 'fellow'--your governor?
CARVE. (Nods.) His oddness came out in this way--although the thing had really a great success, from that day to this he's never painted another life-size picture of a policeman blowing his whistle.
PASCOE. I don't see anything very odd there----
CARVE. Don't you? Well, perhaps you don't go in for art much. If you did, you'd know that the usual and correct thing for a painter who has made a great success with a life-size picture of a policeman blowing his whistle, is to keep on doing life-size pictures of a policeman blowing his whistle for ever and ever, so that the public can always count on getting from him a life-size picture of a policeman blowing his whistle.
PASCOE. I observe you are one