The Good Housekeeping Marriage Book | Page 6

that sometimes
leaves young people worse off rather than better prepared for their
marriage relationships.
Since sex is so highly emotional and its difficulties as they appear in
marriage are almost always psychic in character--that is, born of brain
experience as a result of earlier suggestions and happenings--it is
fortunate that we have something besides a book to offer young people
that they may be sure they are well prepared to deal with the sex side of
marriage. Doctors have developed a counseling service designed to
give young men and young women before they marry the assurance
that they need. This is the premarital examination so popular among
college people about to be married and becoming more and more a part
of their routine of matrimonial preparation.
The young man and young woman, and especially the latter, either
together or separately go to a physician who is interested in presenting
the sex problems of marriage and is familiar with the technique of the
premarital examination and can give young people a clear
understanding of the meaning of marital adjustment. This examination
includes finding out whether there are any structural or nervous
obstacles to marital happiness, the giving of specific information
regarding any worry, doubt, or ignorance felt by the person being
examined, the giving of counsel that will help make successful
adjustment easier to achieve, and, if this is requested, the giving of
sound birth-control instruction.
The premarriage examination does so much to lessen the tension before
marriage and to prevent temporary discouragements or ungrounded
fears after marriage that it is no wonder that it has been accepted
rapidly by young people who have come to know its value. Soon it will
become a commonplace preparedness sought by all thoughtful, sincere
young people who are about to marry. It is best obtained at least two
weeks before the wedding. Since there are sometimes mild physical

conditions that need treatment and that can be cleared up if there is
sufficient time, many doctors prefer that the examination be made at
least a month before the marriage. It is true that not every physician is
prepared to give this assistance, but the number of those who can is
rapidly growing as doctors become conscious of their responsibility for
this new type of preparation for marriage.
* * * * *
Generally a most useful part of this service is the opportunity it gives
the doctor and the patient to talk together frankly and clearly about sex
adjustment so as to take away the emotional handicaps that are the
chief cause of maladjustment. These difficulties, when they are deeply
rooted, and especially when they are unrecognized, play havoc in
marital adjustment. Most often they are the result of some sort of
suggestion or happening far back in the earliest days of childhood that
led to fear, shame, or guilt, the three chief enemies of happy sex life in
marriage.
The mere opportunity to talk over anything related to sex adjustment
about which they are anxious brings to many young people a wonderful
relief. The best way to get the full value of this service is to read first,
as young people are so anxious to do, some sensible, honest, and
reliable book that at least in part treats the problems of sex adjustment
in marriage, and then to gather up the questions that are personally
troublesome or that come because something is not quite clear and take
them to the physician at the time of the premarital examination.
Young people should realize also that beyond the value of this
examination in itself, it is helpful in that it encourages an intelligent
attitude toward all later problems that may arise in marriage. It
emphasizes the fact that the best way of dealing with any difficulty is to
face it frankly, try to understand it, and then seek the best possible help.
Young people are so conscious of the help they need for the carrying on
of their marriage and family career that in every part of the United
States we have petitions from students asking college administrators for
courses in preparation for marriage. But if every college were giving

this instruction, we could not expect that it would reach all American
youth. Other institutions and organizations must carry on in the same
way, so that other groups than college young people may get their
chance to have a modern entrance into marriage. The need of emotional
preparedness for marriage must be stressed. The opportunity to start
marriage right by bringing the resources of experience and of science
should be the birthright of all American youth. These young people
seek specific, practical information that will give them insight. They
are eager to keep to the pathway leading not only to a satisfying
marriage but to a marriage