The Golden Age | Page 7

my way. I protest I was not
on Bill's side; but then, neither was I on the Vicar's, and there was
something in this immoral morning which seemed to say that perhaps,
after all, Bill had as much right to the biscuits as the Vicar, and would
certainly enjoy them better; and anyhow it was a disputable point, and
no business of mine. Nature, who had accepted me for ally, cared little
who had the world's biscuits, and assuredly was not going to let any
friend of hers waste his time in playing policeman for Society.
He was tugging at me anew, my insistent guide; and I felt sure, as I
rambled off in his wake, that he had more holiday matter to show me.
And so, indeed, he had; and all of it was to the same lawless tune. Like
a black pirate flag on the blue ocean of air, a hawk hung ominous; then,
plummet-wise, dropped to the hedgerow, whence there rose, thin and
shrill, a piteous voice of squealing.
By the time I got there a whisk of feathers on the turf--like scattered
playbills--was all that remained to tell of the tragedy just enacted. Yet
Nature smiled and sang on, pitiless, gay, impartial. To her, who took no
sides, there was every bit as much to be said for the hawk as for the
chaffinch. Both were her children, and she would show no preferences.
Further on, a hedgehog lay dead athwart the path--nay, more than dead;
decadent, distinctly; a sorry sight for one that had known the fellow in
more bustling circumstances. Nature might at least have paused to shed
one tear over this rough jacketed little son of hers, for his wasted aims,
his cancelled ambitions, his whole career of usefulness cut suddenly
short. But not a bit of it! Jubilant as ever, her song went bubbling on,
and "Death-in- Life," and again, "Life-in-Death," were its alternate
burdens. And looking round, and seeing the sheep-nibbled heels of
turnips that dotted the ground, their hearts eaten out of them in frost-
bound days now over and done, I seemed to discern, faintly, a
something of the stern meaning in her valorous chant.
My invisible companion was singing also, and seemed at times to be
chuckling softly to himself, doubtless at thought of the strange new
lessons he was teaching me; perhaps, too, at a special bit of

waggishness he had still in store. For when at last he grew weary of
such insignificant earthbound company, he deserted me at a certain spot
I knew; then dropped, subsided, and slunk away into nothingness. I
raised my eyes, and before me, grim and lichened, stood the ancient
whipping-post of the village; its sides fretted with the initials of a
generation that scorned its mute lesson, but still clipped by the stout
rusty shackles that had tethered the wrists of such of that generation's
ancestors as had dared to mock at order and law. Had I been an infant
Sterne, here was a grand chance for sentimental output! As things were,
I could only hurry homewards, my moral tail well between my legs,
with an uneasy feeling, as I glanced back over my shoulder, that there
was more in this chance than met the eye.
And outside our gate I found Charlotte, alone and crying. Edward, it
seemed, had persuaded her to hide, in the full expectation of being duly
found and ecstatically pounced upon; then he had caught sight of the
butcher's cart, and, forgetting his obligations, had rushed off for a ride.
Harold, it further appeared, greatly coveting tadpoles, and top-heavy
with the eagerness of possession, had fallen into the pond. This, in
itself, was nothing; but on attempting to sneak in by the back- door, he
had rendered up his duckweed-bedabbled person into the hands of an
aunt, and had been promptly sent off to bed; and this, on a holiday, was
very much. The moral of the whipping- post was working itself out;
and I was not in the least surprised when, on reaching home, I was
seized upon and accused of doing something I had never even thought
of. And my frame of mind was such, that I could only wish most
heartily that I had done it.

A WHITE-WASHED UNCLE
In our small lives that day was eventful when another uncle was to
come down from town, and submit his character and qualifications
(albeit unconsciously) to our careful criticism. Previous uncles had
been weighed in the balance, and--alas!-- found grievously wanting.
There was Uncle Thomas--a failure from the first. Not that his
disposition was malevolent, nor were his habits such as to unfit him for
decent society; but his rooted conviction seemed to be that the reason
of a child's existence was to