The Follies of Love | Page 7

are not those of a physician.
Scratch Clothes don't make the science. And if I were not reduced to be
a valet, and if I had not had a fight with the squire of my parish--
(mysteriously) But, one day you will see innocence triumph.
Albert You say you have--?
Scratch See the slander! One day, finding myself on a long journey,
traveling third class, and twilight falling--I saw a certain coach stuck in
the mud in a ditch, and a man in need of help. So I approached. And, to
ease the weight which oppressed him (the coach was on top of him), I

removed the packages he was carrying. The chief of police got mixed
up in it, and held me responsible for the lost packages--for an act of
charity! That's why my friends advised me to leave the country.
Albert Always prudent, in cases like that.
Scratch I went to the wars, where I accomplished miracles. The
Ardennes saw me withstand enemy fire. And, battling one day against
the enemy, one day all by myself--at Milan--I almost paid with my life.
Do you know, sir, I was in Cremona?
Albert I believe you. But, after all your famous exploits, what do you
want from me?
Scratch What do I want?
Albert (peremptorily) Yes.
Scratch Nothing. I believe one doesn't have to have any special reason
to take a walk, and doing so offends nobody.
Albert Yes, but don't stay too long. Your servant, sir.
Scratch Servant! Before leaving, tell me, if you please, sire, to whom
does this country house belong?
Albert It belongs to its owner.
Scratch Oh, to be sure. You answer so cleverly, that one cannot
abandon your conversation easily. We ought to go to the village
together to find a place to stay. We'll be there soon.
Albert If you hurry.
Scratch (aside) This chap doesn't like conversation and answers my
questions with a single word. (aloud) I will leave after asking the time.
Albert Your question is funny. You think I'm here like the dial on a
clock to display the time to passersby. Go learn it elsewhere. Don't
weigh down my ear any longer. Your appearance tires me as much as
your conversation. Goodbye. Good day!
(Exit Albert.)
Scratch (alone) This fellow has quite the aspect of a bear. My word,
this beginning bewilders me. The old man appears to me to be a bit
subject to anger. To bring everything to fruition we may have to fight.
So much the better--that's where I shine, and I love to fence. But, I see
my master, Mr. Worthy.
(Enter Worthy.)
Worthy Well, Scratch, what news? Dear Scratch, did you see the
beauty in these parts? Have you seen the tutor and do you see some ray

of hope for my love someday?
Scratch To tell you the truth, it wasn't worth the trouble to race here
breathlessly from Milan. You could have spared me the trouble of
coming. Oh, that battle on Mount Cenis was no joke. Do you remember
how maliciously my cursed mule threw me in a ravine, and I was
almost a quarter of an hour rolling to the bottom?
Worthy Don't jest. Speak in a different way.
Scratch As you wish, a clearer phrase. I will tell you, sir, that I have
seen the jealous one--who received me in a manner that makes a cold
wind seem mild. We'll need a cannon to take the place.
Worthy We'll come in the end to what he said and what he did. I won't
leave these parts until I am in possession of the object of my vows.
Love will vanquish the resistance of this brute.
Scratch If we had some money for expenses, I'd have hope enough for
success. Money is the sinew of love as well as war.
Worthy Don't worry. Arabella has thirty thousand crowns when she
marries. If she had nothing, I would still love her a hundred times better
than a rich girl with money enough to turn your head. From her earliest
years, raised by my mother, her image has been graven in my heart and
nothing can efface it. Our two hearts, which seem made for each other,
first tasted this happy news just before my mother died. Because of this
disaster, Albert, this old jealous fool that hell should
confound--separated her from me, with the consent of Arabella's
relatives. I didn't know him, and she, I believe, like me, had never
heard of his name. People told me that he was a very troubled spirit--
defiant, hard, brutal.
Scratch They told you right. We must learn, first off, if we can
introduce ourselves into this fortress by cleverness or must use
force--whether it is better to make an open siege or form plans for