The Follies of Love | Page 5

the cord. He measured the stairs with his nose. Suddenly, I heard him cry: "Help, I am dead." As these cries increased--at which I laughed very much--I ran and found you spread out--with an apostrophe in place of your face. Your nose gave proof that you were a body and not a spirit.
Albert Ah, miserable scoundrel, adherent of the devil! It was you who played that abominable trick. You wished to kill me with this cursed act!
Jenny (innocently) No, it was only to trap the ghost.
Albert I don't know what prevents me from beating you up!
Arabella Sir, easy.
Albert You, too, my pretty, could earn some slaps. Shut up, if you please. To punish her audacity, I will drive her from my house. How do you like that?
Jenny (crying) Just heaven, what a sentence. Sir--
Albert (adamant) No, out of the nest, if you please.
Jenny (laughing) Ah, my word, sir, you flatter yourself if you think that leaving your sad company will make me suffer the least pang. A school boy leaving his tutor, a woman a long time celibate who leaves her relatives to get married--a slave who leaves the hands of his masters, an old prisoner who breaks his chains after thirty years, an heir who sees his uncle give up the ghost, a husband when the plague takes his plaguey wife--doesn't have half the pleasure I take in receiving from you this happy discharge.
Albert Leaving me would please you?
Jenny The greatest pleasure I will have in my life.
Albert Really! If that is so, I've changed my mind. I do not intend to give you this pleasure. You will stay here to do penance. And you will, without arguing, go in, and be diligent.
(Arabella reenters and curtsies. As Jenny starts to go, Albert stops her.)
Albert You stay--I wish to speak to you without witnesses. (aside) I'll have to butter her up--I need her services. (aloud) Come on--let's make peace and live sensibly. At bottom I love you--and more than you think.
Jenny And I also love you more than you think.
Albert A pretty amour, truly to break my nose. But, I pardon all, and promise you that you will enjoy my bounty--if you serve me on occasion.
Jenny Let's see. What service is in question?
Albert You've known for a long time, that as regards Arabella, I have, as one ought, a soul a--bit tender. But for the precautions I take for her the wench would soon take the bit in her teeth. She's always spent her life in high society with the lady from London--Mrs. Worthy--who took care of her until she was fifteen. That lady, having died, a relation begged me to take care of her, and confided her to me. Since then love has stolen into my heart. I have a plan to make her my wife.
Jenny Your wife! Fie!
Albert What do you mean by that tone?
Jenny Fie, I tell you.
Albert What?
Jenny Hey, fie! Fie--I tell you. You are too intelligent to commit such a stupidity--and I tell you to your grey beard.
Albert I never had children by my late wife--and I wish to finish what I've begun--to have heirs whose happy birth will ruin the hopes of all my collaterals.
Jenny My word, sir, make as many as you please. You won't have any posterity left behind, and it is I who tell you so.
Albert And why is that?
Jenny How do I know?
Albert Who has given you the privilege of soothsaying? Say, speak, respond!
Jenny My God--I said nothing except what's reasonable, and you know it! I understand myself and that's sufficient.
Albert Don't trouble yourself. It's my business--and none of yours!
Jenny Ah, you're right.
Albert Look, you know that around here, one cannot take a step without falling into some ambush. The snares that surround my soul alarm me. I have a prize ewe lamb surrounded by care--but the ravishing wolves are prowling in hopes of carrying her off. I must protect her from their cruel fangs--and so as not to fear their cruel fury, I intend to close all parts of the sheep pen, to carefully surround my house with iron bars, and to let in only a few people--and that by day. I have need of your help at this juncture, so that the fencing will go as I intend.
Jenny Who, me?
Albert I don't wish this invention to appear to be the result of my precaution. Arabella would be alarmed--with reason, to see my care result in her being locked in--that might cause her to become cold to me. But, with clever girls, one must gild the pill adroitly, and make her understand that all that is being done is only to protect her--and that last night a number of bandits got into a nearby house and left only the walls standing.
Jenny But, sir, do you think with this trick--and