The Fine Ladys Airs | Page 9

very often are not in a
Humour to part with it; when we have Mony, we are easie, whether we
pay it or no; and 'tis affronting the Nobility, not to observe their
Decorums.
_The Trades-People Enter._

[_To the Mercer._] Mr. Farendine, this Silk has so glaring a Mixture of
preposterous Colours, I shall be taken for a North Country Bride; and
so very substantial, I believe you design'd it for my Heirs and
Successours.
_Mer._ Madam, 'tis a very well wrought Silk.
L. _Rod._ So well wrought, it may serve one in a Family for twenty
Generations.--Have you sold any Wedding Suits lately?
_Mer._ Yes, Madam, I sold a yellow and white Damask, lin'd with a
Cherry and blew Sattin, and a Goslin green Petticoat to Mrs. Winifred
Widgeon i'the Peak, that marry'd Squire Hog o' Darby,--'twas her
Grandmother _Trott_'s Fancy.
L. _Rod._ Nay, those old Governants, that were Dames of Honour to
Queen Bess, make their Daughters appear as monstrous in this Age, as
they themselves did in that.--Well, Mr. Farendine, when you have any
thing slight and pretty, let me see it. [_To the Manto-Maker_] Mrs.
Flounce, this Sleeve is most abominably cut.
_Mant. Mak._ Madam, 'tis exacly the Shape of my Lady _Snipe's_, and
she s allow'd to be the Pink o'the Mode.
L. _Rod._ My Lady Snipe, who ever heard of her?
Mrs. _Lov._ Oh! Madam, that's the over-dress'd Lady in _Fuller's
Rents_, the first in England, that wore Flow'rs in her Hair; She has
5000_l._ indeed, but they say 'tis in bad Hands, and the Town has
neglected her these ten Years.
L. _Rod._ And wou'd you have me appear like a Turn-stile Creature?
why d'you work for such Trumpery? have you not Business enough
from Court.
_Mant. Mak._ Truly, Madam, I'm glad to accept of a Gown from any
Body; for the Ladies, now-a-days, are grown so saving, they make all
their Petticoats themselves.

L. _Rod._ Don't you work into the City too?
_Mant. Mak._ Yes, Madam, I have eleven Gowns to finish against
Sunday, for very good Customers, and very religious People.
L. _Rod._ Religious People! This Creature is so employ'd by the
Canaille, I shall have my Cloths cut to pieces, dear Cozen, let Buda
make me a Suit with Expedition, I'll present this to the Play-House.
_Semp._ Does your Ladyship like your Head, Madam?
L. _Rod._ The Lace, Mrs. Taffety, is so course and so heavy, I'm ready
to sink beneath the weight of it.
_Semp._ Madam, 'tis right Mechlin, cost me Six Guineas a Yard, and I
bought it too of a Merchant, that has smuggl'd many a hundred Pounds
worth.
L. _Rod._ There you please me, English People are extremely fond of
what's forbid, we commonly obey our Parents, and the Government
much a-like; and tho' the State prohibits Flanders Lace, French
Alamodes, and India Sattins, we have 'em all by the way of
Holland.--These Ruffles too are so furiously starch'd, I shall throw
People down as I move along.
_Semp._ The Ladies, Madam, love a stiff Ruffle, for shou'd the Wind
blow it aside, your Ladyship's Elbow might catch cold, but I'll slacken
my Hand i'the next.--Does your Ladyship want a very fine short
Apron?
L. _Rod._ Women o' Quality, Mrs. Taffety have left 'em off, and those
Ladies that do wear 'em, generally make 'em of their old Top-knots [_to
the India Woman_] Mrs. Japan, you are a Stranger here, I hav'n't seen
you since I paid off your last Bill,
_Ind. Wom._ Oh, Madam! I have been at Death's Door, the
Hypocondriacks have so prey'd upon my Spirits, they have destroy'd
my Constitution, such Rotations i'my Head, such an Oppression at my

Stomach--but I ha' brought you a Pound of Bohee, so purifying, 'twill
give your Ladyship a new Mass of Blood in a Quarter of an Hour.
L. _Rod._ Mrs. Chince has much better.
_Ind. Wom._ Then will I eat Mrs. Chince.--Shall I show you some fine
India Pictures?
L. _Rod._ I hate those Shadows o' Men half finish'd.
_Ind Wom._ I must own the Substance of a Man well finish'd is much
better,--but here's a Set o'Japan Cups will ravish your Ladyship, a
Tradesman's Wife long'd, and miscarry'd about 'em.
L. _Rod._ I'm overstock'd with China, and they say 'tis grown so
common. I intend to sacrifice mine to my Monkey.
_Ind. Wom._ Nay, pray, my Lady, buy somewhat of me, you know I'm
in great Tribulation, I trusted a couple of Trollops, that were turn'd out
of the Play-House, for having too much Assurance for the Stage, and
set up a little Shop in _Spring Garden_; and the bold Jades are gone a
stroling Fifty Pounds in my Debt. Besides, I have just now a lazy Trull
of a Daughter, that run away with a