The English Spy | Page 9

triumph'd, and
a Nero reign'd, Petronius rose satiric, yet polite, And show'd the glaring
monster full in sight; To public mirth exposed the imperial beast, And
made his wanton court the common jest.'"
With this quotation, delivered with good emphasis, little Index bade me
good morning, and left me impressed with no mean opinion of his
friendship, ~12~~ and with an increased admiration of his knowledge
of the world.
But how (thought I) am I to profit by his advice? In what shape shall I
commence my eccentric course? A good general at the head of a large
army, on the eve of a general battle, with the enemy full in view, feels
less embarrassment than a young author finds in marshalling his crude
ideas, and placing the raw recruits of the brain in any thing like
respectable order. For the title, that is quite a matter of business, and
depends more upon the bookseller's opinion of what may be thought
attractive than any affinity it may possess to the work itself.
Dedications are, thanks to the economy of fashion, out of date: great
men have long since been laughed into good sense in that particular. A
preface (if there be one) should partake something of the spirit of the
work; for if it be not brief, lively, and humorous, it is ten to one but
your reader falls asleep before he enters upon chapter the first, and
when he wakes, fears to renew his application, lest he should be again
caught napping. Long introductions are like lengthy prayers before
meals to hungry men, they are mumbled over with unintelligible
rapidity, or altogether omitted, for the more solid gratifications of the
stomach, or the enjoyments of the mind. In what fantastic shape and
countenance then shall an author appear to obtain general approbation?
or in what costume is he most likely to insure success?

If he assumes a fierce and haughty front, his readers are perhaps
offended with his temerity, and the critics enraged at his assurance. If
he affects a modest sneaking posture, and humbly implores their high
mightinesses to grant him one poor sprig of laurel, he is treated
slightingly, and despised, as a pitiful fellow who wants that essential
ingredient in the composition of a man of talent and good breeding,
ycleped by the moderns confidence. If he speaks of ~13~~ the
excellence of his subject, he creates doubts both with his readers and
reviewers, who will use their endeavours to convince him he has not a
correct knowledge of his own abilities. But if, like a well bred man at
court, he enters the drawing-room of literature in good taste, neither too
mean nor too gaudy, too bold or too formal, makes his bow with the air
and finish of a scholar and a gentleman, and passes on to his place,
unheedful of remark (because unconscious of offence), he is sure to
command respect, if he does not excite admiration.
Accept then, reader, this colloquial chapter, as the author's apology for
a preface, an imaginary short conference, or letter of introduction,
which brings you acquainted with the eccentric writer of this volume;
and as in all well regulated society a person is expected to give some
account of himself before he is placed upon terms of intimacy with the
family, you shall in the next page receive a brief sketch of the
characteristics of the author.
[Illustration: page013]
~13~~

A FEW THOUGHTS ON MYSELF.
The early biography of a man of genius is seldom, if ever, accurately
given to the public eye, unless, indeed, he is one of those rara avis who,
with the advantages of great qualifications, inherits high ancestral
distinctions. But if, as is generally the case, from obscurity of birth and
humble life he rises into notice by the force and exertion of his talents,
the associates of his brighter fortunes know but little of the difficulties

which have obstructed his progress, or the toils and fatigues he has
endured, to arrive at that enviable point from which the temple of Fame,
and the road to fortune, may be contemplated with some chance of
enjoyment and success. Unwilling to speak of himself, lest he should
incur the charge of vanity or egotism, he modestly trusts to the partial
pen of friendship, or the conjectural pen of the commentator, to do
justice to events which no quill could relate so well as his own, and
which, if impartially and sensibly written, must advance him in the
estimation of society, and convince the world that with the mastery of
the great secret in his power, he was not more capable of appreciating
the characters of the age than familiar with the lights and shadows of
his own.
"Honour and shame from no condition rise; Act well