The English Spy | Page 8

am
again seated in comfort at my table: the solicitude, fear, and anxiety,
attendant upon the apprehensions of surprise, a bailiff, and a prison, all
vanish in a moment.
"My dear Index, you are welcome; the last person I expected, although
the first I could have wished to have seen: to what fortunate
circumstance am I to attribute the honor of this friendly visit?"
"Business, sir; I am a man of business: your last publication has sold
pretty well, considering how dreadfully it was cut up in the reviews; I
have some intention of reprinting a short edition, if you are not too
exorbitant in your demands; not that I think the whole number will be
sold, but there is a chance of clearing the expenses. A portrait by
Wageman, the announcement of a second edition, with additions, may
help it off; but then these additional costs will prevent my rewarding
your merits to the extent I am sensible you deserve."
"Name your own terms, Index, for after all you know it must come to
that, and I am satisfied you will be as liberal as you can afford." Put in
this way, the most penurious of the speculating tribe in paper and print
would have strained a point, to overcome their natural infirmity: with
Index it was otherwise; nature had formed him with a truly liberal heart:
the practice of the trade, and the necessary caution attendant upon
bookselling speculations, only operated as a check to the noble-minded
generosity of the ~10~~ man, without implanting in his bosom the
avarice and extortion generally pursued by his brethren.
The immediate subject of his visit arranged to our mutual satisfaction, I
ventured to inquire what style of work was most likely to interest the
taste of the town. 'The town itself--satire, sir, fashionable satire. If you
mean to grow rich by writing in the present day, you must first learn to
be satirical; use the lash, sir, as all the great men have done before you,
and then, like Canning in the Cabinet, or Gifford and Jeffery as
reviewers, or Byron and Southey as poets, you will be followed more
from the fear of your pen than from the splendour of your talents, the

consistency of your conduct, or the morality of your principles. Sir, if
you can but use the tomahawk skilfully, your fortune is certain. 'Sic itur
ad astra.' Read Blackwood's Noctea Ambrosiance. Take the town by
surprise, folly by the ears; 'the glory, jest, and riddle of the world' is
man; use your knowledge of this ancient volume rightly, and you may
soon mount the car of fortune, and drive at random wherever your
fancy dictates. Bear in mind the Greek proverb, 'Mega biblion, mega
kakon.' In your remarks, select such persons who, from their elevated
situations in society, ought to be above reproof, and whose vices are,
therefore, more worthy of public condemnation:
'------------Ridiculum acri Fortius ac melius magnas plerumque secat
res.'
By this means you will benefit the state, and improve the morals of
society. The most wholesome truths may be told with pleasantry. Satire,
to be severe, needs not to be scurrilous. The approval of the judicious
will always follow the ridicule which is directed against error,
ignorance, and folly."
How long little Index might have continued in this strain I know not, if
I had not ventured to suggest ~11~~ that the course he pointed out was
one of great difficulty, and considerable personal hazard; that to arrive
at fortune by such means, an author must risk the sacrifice of many old
connexions, and incur no inconsiderable dangers; that great caution
would be necessary to escape the fangs of the forensic tribe, and that in
voluntarily thrusting his nose into such a nest of hornets, it would be
hardly possible to escape being severely stung in retaliation. "Pulchrum
est accusari ah accusandis," said my friend, the bookseller, "who has
suffered more by the fashionable world than yourself? Have you not
dissipated a splendid patrimony in a series of the most liberal
entertainments? Has not your generous board been graced with the
presence of royalty? and the banquet enriched by the attendant stars of
nobility, from the duke to the right honorable knight commander. And
have you not since felt the most cruel neglect from these your early
associates, and much obliged friends, with no crime but poverty, with
no reproach but the want of prudence? Have you not experienced

ingratitude and persecution in every shape that human baseness could
find ingenuity to inflict? And can you hesitate to avail yourself of the
noble revenge in your power, when it combines the advantages of being
morally profitable both to yourself and society?
'------------Velat materna tempora myrto.' Virg.
'When Vice the shelter of a mask disdain'd, When Folly