The Eleven Comedies, vol 2 | Page 5

are dragging; once you were as tough as a dog-skin strap and now even
Charinades walks better than you. Ha! Strymodorus of Conthylé, you
best of mates, where is Euergides and where is Chales of Phyla? Ha, ha,
bravo! there you are, the last of the lads with whom we mounted guard
together at Byzantium.[43] Do you remember how, one night, prowling
round, we noiselessly stole the kneading-trough of a baker's-wife; we
split it in two and cooked our green-stuff with it.--But let us hasten, for
the case of the Laches[44] comes on to-day, and they all say he has
embezzled a pot of money. Hence Cleon, our protector, advised us
yesterday to come early and with a three days' stock of fiery rage so as
to chastise him for his crimes. Let us hurry, comrades, before it is light;
come, let us search every nook with our lanterns to see whether those
who wish us ill have not set us some trap.

BOY. Ah! here is mud! Father, take care!
CHORUS. Pick up a blade of straw and trim the lamp of your lantern.
BOY. No, I can trim it quite well with my finger.
CHORUS. Why do you pull out the wick, you little dolt? Oil is scarce,
and 'tis not you who suffer when it has to be paid for. (Strikes him.)
BOY. If you teach us again with your fists, we shall put out the lamps
and go home; then you will have no light and will squatter about in the
mud like ducks in the dark.
CHORUS. I know how to punish other offenders bigger than you. But I
think I am treading in some mud. Oh! 'tis certain it will rain in torrents
for four days at least; look, what thieves are in our lamps; that is always
a sign of heavy rain; but the rain and the north wind will be good for
the crops that are still standing.... Why, what can have happened to our
mate, who lives here? Why does he not come to join our party? There
used to be no need to haul him in our wake, for he would march at our
head singing the verses of Phrynichus; he was a lover of singing.
Should we not, friends, make a halt here and sign to call him out? The
charm of my voice will fetch him out, if he hears it.
Why does the old man not show himself before the door? why does he
not answer? Has he lost his shoes? has he stubbed his toe in the dark
and thus got a swollen ankle? Perhaps he has a tumour in his groin. He
was the hardest of us all; he alone never allowed himself to be moved.
If anyone tried to move him, he would lower his head, saying, "You
might just as well try to boil a stone." But I bethink me, an accused ma
escaped us yesterday through his false pretence that he loved Athens
and had been the first to unfold the Samian plot.[45] Perhaps his
acquittal has so distressed Philocleon that he is abed with fever--he is
quite capable of such a thing.--Friend, arise, do not thus vex your hear,
but forget your wrath. Today we have to judge a man made wealthy by
treason, one of those who set Thrace free;[46] we have to prepare him a
funeral urn ... so march on, my boy, get a-going.

BOY. Father, would you give me something if I asked for it?
CHORUS. Assuredly, my child, but tell me what nice thing do you
want me to buy you? A set of knuckle-bones, I suppose.
BOY. No, dad, I prefer figs; they are better.
CHORUS. No, by Zeus! even if you were to hang yourself with
vexation.
BOY. Well then, I will lead you no father.
CHORUS. With my small pay, I am obliged to buy bread, wood, stew;
and now you ask me for figs!
BOY. But, father, if the Archon[47] should not form a court to-day,
how are we to buy our dinner? Have you some good hope to offer us or
merely "Hellé's sacred waves"?[48]
CHORUS. Alas! alas! I have not a notion how we shall dine.
BOY. Oh! my poor mother! why did you let me see this day?
CHORUS. Oh! my little wallet! you seem like to be a mere useless
ornament!
BOY. 'Tis our destiny to groan.
PHILOCLEON.[49] My friends, I have long been pining away while
listening to you from my window, but I absolutely know not what do
do. I am detained here, because I have long wanted to go with you to
the law court and do all the harm I can. Oh! Zeus! cause the peals of
they thunder to roll, change me quickly into smoke