The Elevator | Page 7

Aunt Mary!"
MRS. MILLER: "I can't understand what Ellery C. Miller means."
LAWTON, with a simulated sternness: "I hope you haven't let that son
of yours run away with my daughter, Bemis?"
BEMIS: "I'm afraid he's come to a pass where he wouldn't ask MY
leave."
CURWEN, re-assuring himself: "Ah, she's all right, of course. I know
that" -
BEMIS: "Miss Lawton?"
CURWEN: "No, no--Mrs. Curwen."
CAMPBELL: "Is it a true bill, Agnes?"
MRS. ROBERTS: "Indeed it is, Willis. We've been expecting her for
an hour--of course she always comes early--and I'm afraid she's been
taken ill suddenly."
ROBERTS: "Oh, I don't think it's that, my dear."
MRS. ROBERTS: "Oh, of course you never think anything's wrong,
Edward. My whole family might die, and"--MRS. ROBERTS restrains
herself, and turns to MR. CAMPBELL, with hysterical cheerfulness:
"Who came up in the elevator with you?"
CAMPBELL: "Me? I didn't come in the elevator. I had my usual luck.
The elevator was up somewhere, and after I'd pressed the annunciator
button till my thumb ached, I watched my chance and walked up."
MRS. ROBERTS: "Where was the janitor?"
CAMPBELL: "Where the janitor always is--nowhere."

LAWTON: "Eating his Christmas dinner, probably."
MRS. ROBERTS, partially abandoning and then recovering herself:
"Yes, it's perfectly spoiled! Well, friends, I think we'd better go to
dinner--that's the only way to bring them. I'll go out and interview the
cook." Sotto voce to her husband: "If I don't go somewhere and have a
cry, I shall break down here before everybody. Did you ever know
anything so strange? It's perfectly--pokerish."
LAWTON: "Yes, there's nothing like serving dinner to bring the
belated guest. It's as infallible as going without an umbrella when it
won't rain."
CAMPBELL: "No, no! Wait a minute, Roberts. You might sit down
without one guest, but you can't sit down without five. It's the old joke
about the part of Hamlet. I'll just step round to Aunt Mary's house--why,
I'll be back in three minutes."
MRS. ROBERTS, with perfervid gratitude: "Oh, how GOOD you are,
Willis! You don't know how MUCH you're doing! What presence of
mind you have! Why couldn't we have thought of sending for her? O
Willis, I can never be grateful enough to you! But you always think of
everything."
ROBERTS: "I accept my punishment meekly, Willis, since it's in your
honor."
LAWTON: "It's a simple and beautiful solution, Mrs. Roberts, as far as
your aunt's concerned; but I don't see how it helps the rest of us."
MRS. MILLER to MR. CAMPBELL: "If you meet Mr. Miller " -
CURWEN: "Or my wife" -
BEMIS: "Or my son" -
LAWTON: "Or my daughter" -
CAMPBELL: "I'll tell them they've just one chance in a hundred to
save their lives, and that one is open to them for just five minutes."
LAWTON: "Tell my daughter that I've been here half an hour, and
everybody knows I drove here with her."
BEMIS: "Tell my son that the next time I'll walk, and let him drive."
MRS. MILLER: "Tell Mr. Miller I found I had my fan after all."
CURWEN: "And Mrs. Curwen that I've got her glove all right." He
holds it up.
MRS. ROBERTS, at a look of mystification and demand from her
brother: "Never mind explanations, Willis. They'll understand, and

we'll explain when you get back."
LAWTON, examining the glove which CURWEN holds up: "Why, so
it IS right!"
CURWEN: "What do you mean?"
LAWTON: "Were you sent back to get a LEFT glove?"
CURWEN: "Yes, yes; of course."
LAWTON: "Well, if you'll notice, this is a right one. The one at home
is left."
CURWEN, staring helplessly at it: "Gracious Powers! what shall I do?"
LAWTON: "Pray that Mrs. Curwen may NEVER come."
MR. CURWEN, dashing through the door: "I'll be back by the time Mr.
Campbell returns."
MRS. MILLER, with tokens of breaking down visible to MRS.
ROBERTS: "I wonder what could have kept Mr. Miller. It's so very
mysterious, I" -
MRS. ROBERTS, suddenly seizing her by the arm, and hurrying her
from the room: "Now, Mrs. Miller, you've just got time to see my
baby."
MR. ROBERTS, winking at his remaining guests: "A little cry will do
them good. I saw as soon as Willis came in instead of her aunt, that my
wife couldn't get through without it. They'll come back as bright as" -
LAWTON: "Bemis, should you mind a bereaved father falling upon
your neck?"
BEMIS: "Yes, Lawton, I think I should."
LAWTON: "Well, it IS rather odd about all those people. You can say
of one or two that they've been delayed, but five people can't have been
delayed. It's too much. It amounts to a coincidence. Hello! What's
that?"
ROBERTS: "What's what?"
LAWTON: "I thought I heard a cry."
ROBERTS: "Very likely you did.