The Duenna | Page 5

say
for yourself?
Duen. Well, sir, since you have forced that letter from me, and
discovered my real sentiments, I scorn to renounce them.--I am
Antonio's friend, and it was my intention that your daughter should
have served you as all such old tyrannical sots should be served--I
delight in the tender passions and would befriend all under their
influence.
Don Jer. The tender passions! yes, they would become those
impenetrable features! Why, thou deceitful hag! I placed thee as a
guard to the rich blossoms of my daughter's beauty. I thought that
dragon's front of thine would cry aloof to the sons of gallantry: steel

traps and spring guns seemed writ in every wrinkle of it.--But you shall
quit my house this instant. The tender passions, indeed! go, thou
wanton sibyl, thou amorous woman of Endor, go!
Duen. You base, scurrilous, old--but I won't demean myself by naming
what you are.--Yes, savage, I'll leave your den; but I suppose you don't
mean to detain my apparel--I may have my things, I presume?
Don Jer. I took you, mistress, with your wardrobe on--what have you
pilfered, eh?
Duen. Sir, I must take leave of my mistress; she has valuables of mine:
besides, my cardinal and veil are in her room.
Don Jer. Your veil, forsooth! what, do you dread being gazed at? or are
you afraid of your complexion? Well, go take your leave, and get your
veil and cardinal! so! you quit the house within these five
minutes.--In--in--quick!--[Exit DUENNA.] Here was a precious plot of
mischief!--these are the comforts daughters bring us!
AIR. If a daughter you have, she's the plague of your life, No peace
shall you know, though you've buried your wife! At twenty she mocks
at the duty you taught her-- Oh, what a plague is an obstinate daughter!
Sighing and whining, Dying and pining, Oh, what a plague is an
obstinate daughter!
When scarce in their teens they have wit to perplex us, With letters and
lovers for ever they vex us; While each still rejects the fair suitor
you've brought her; Oh, what a plague is an obstinate daughter!
Wrangling and jangling, Flouting and pouting, Oh, what a plague is an
obstinate daughter!
_Re-enter_ DONNA LOUISA, dressed as DUENNA, _with cardinal
and veil, seeming to cry_.
This way, mistress, this way.--What, I warrant a tender parting; so!
tears of turpentine down those deal cheeks.--Ay, you may well hide
your head--yes, whine till your heart breaks! but I'll not hear one word

of excuse--so you are right to be dumb. This way, this way. [Exeunt.]
_Re-enter_ DUENNA.
Duen. So, speed you well, sagacious Don Jerome! Oh rare effects of
passion and obstinacy! Now shall I try whether I can't play the fine lady
as well as my mistress, and if I succeed, I may be a fine lady for the rest
of my life--I'll lose no time to equip myself. [Exit.]

SCENE IV.--The Court before DON JEROME'S _House.
Enter_ DON JEROME and DONNA LOUISA.
Don Jer. Come, mistress, there is your way--the world lies before you,
so troop, thou antiquated Eve, thou original sin! Hold, yonder is some
fellow skulking; perhaps it is Antonio--go to him, d'ye hear, and tell
him to make you amends, and as he has got you turned away, tell him I
say it is but just he should take you himself; go--[Exit DONNA
LOUISA.] So! I am rid of her, thank heaven! and now I shall be able to
keep my oath, and confine my daughter with better security. [_Exit_].

SCENE V.-_The Piazza.
Enter_ DONNA CLARA and MAID.
Maid. But where, madam, is it you intend to go?
_Don. Clara_. Anywhere to avoid the selfish violence of my mother-in-
law, and Ferdinand's insolent importunity.
Maid. Indeed, ma'am, since we have profited by Don Ferdinand's key,
in making our escape, I think we had best find him, if it were only to
thank him.
_Don. Clara_. No--he has offended me exceedingly. [_Retires_].
Enter DONNA LOUISA.
_Don. Louisa_. So I have succeeded in being turned out of doors--but

how shall I find Antonio? I dare not inquire for him, for fear of being
discovered; I would send to my friend Clara, but then I doubt her
prudery would condemn me.
Maid. Then suppose, ma'am, you were to try if your friend Donna
Louisa would not receive you?
_Don. Clara_. No, her notions of filial duty are so severe, she would
certainly betray me.
_Don. Louisa_. Clara is of a cold temper, and would think this step of
mine highly forward.
_Don. Clara_. Louisa's respect for her father is so great, she would not
credit the unkindness of mine.
[DONNA LOUISA turns and sees DONNA CLARA and MAID.]
_Don. Louisa_. Ha! who are those? sure one is Clara--if it be, I'll trust
her. Clara!