The Duenna | Page 4

is a Jew.
Don Jer. Another mistake: he has been a Christian these six weeks.
Don Ferd. Ay, he left his old religion for an estate, and has not had

time to get a new one.
_Don. Louisa_. But stands like a dead wall between church and
synagogue, or like the blank leaves between the Old and New
Testament.
Don Jer. Anything more?
Don Ferd. But the most remarkable part of his character is his passion
for deceit and tricks of cunning.
_Don. Louisa_. Though at the same time the fool predominates so
much over the knave, that I am told he is generally the dupe of his own
art.
Don Ferd. True; like an unskilful gunner, he usually misses his aim,
and is hurt by the recoil of his own piece.
Don Jer. Anything more?
_Don. Louisa_. To sum up all, he has the worst fault a husband can
have--he's not my choice.
Don Jer. But you are his; and choice on one side is sufficient--two
lovers should never meet in marriage--be you sour as you please, he is
sweet-tempered; and for your good fruit, there's nothing like ingrafting
on a crab.
_Don. Louisa_. I detest him as a lover, and shall ten times more as a
husband.
Don Jer. I don't know that-marriage generally makes a great change--
but, to cut the matter short, will you have him or not?
_Don. Louisa_. There is nothing else I could disobey you in.
Don Jer. Do you value your father's peace?
_Don. Louisa_. So much, that I will not fasten on him the regret of

making an only daughter wretched.
Don Jer. Very well, ma'am, then mark me--never more will I see or
converse with you till you return to your duty--no reply--this and your
chamber shall be your apartments; I never will stir out without leaving
you under lock and key, and when I'm at home no creature can
approach you but through my library: we'll try who can be most
obstinate. Out of my sight!--there remain till you know your duty.
[Pushes her out.]
Don Ferd_. Surely, sir, my sister's inclinations should be consulted in a
matter of this kind, and some regard paid to Don Antonio, being my
particular friend.
Don Jer. That, doubtless, is a very great recommendation!--I certainly
have not paid sufficient respect to it.
Don Ferd. There is not a man living I would sooner choose for a
brother-in-law.
Don Jer. Very possible; and if you happen to have e'er a sister, who is
not at the same time a daughter of mine, I'm sure I shall have no
objection to the relationship; but at present, if you please, we'll drop the
subject.
Don Ferd. Nay, sir, 'tis only my regard for my sister makes me speak.
Don Jer. Then, pray sir, in future, let your regard for your father make
you hold your tongue.
Don Ferd. I have done, sir. I shall only add a wish that you would
reflect what at our age you would have felt, had you been crossed in
your affection for the mother of her you are so severe to.
Don Jer. Why, I must confess I had a great affection for your mother's
ducats, but that was all, boy. I married her for her fortune, and she took
me in obedience to her father, and a very happy couple we were. We
never expected any love from one another, and so we were never

disappointed. If we grumbled a little now and then, it was soon over,
for we were never fond enough to quarrel; and when the good woman
died, why, why,--I had as lieve she had lived, and I wish every widower
in Seville could say the same. I shall now go and get the key of this
dressing-room--so, good son, if you have any lecture in support of
disobedience to give your sister, it must be brief; so make the best of
your time, d'ye hear? [Exit.]
Don Ferd. I fear, indeed, my friend Antonio has little to hope for;
however, Louisa has firmness, and my father's anger will probably only
increase her affection.--In our intercourse with the world, it is natural
for us to dislike those who are innocently the cause of our distress; but
in the heart's attachment a woman never likes a man with ardour till she
has suffered for his sake.--[Noise.] So! what bustle is here--between my
father and the Duenna too, I'll e'en get out of the way. [Exit.]
_Re-enter_ DON JEROME _with a letter, pulling in_ DUENNA.
Don Jer. I'm astonished! I'm thunderstruck! here's treachery with a
vengeance! You, Antonio's creature, and chief manager of this plot for
my daughter's eloping!--you, that I placed here as a scarecrow?
Duen. What?
Don Jer. A scarecrow--to prove a decoy-duck! What have you to