The Diary of a Nobody | Page 8

Red Indians I have seen depicted at an East-End theatre.
I determined not to say a word to Carrie, but to tell Farmerson to come
on Monday and paint the bath white.
CHAPTER IV

The ball at the Mansion House.
April 30.--Perfectly astounded at receiving an invitation for Carrie and
myself from the Lord and Lady Mayoress to the Mansion House, to
"meet the Representatives of Trades and Commerce." My heart beat
like that of a schoolboy's. Carrie and I read the invitation over two or
three times. I could scarcely eat my breakfast. I said--and I felt it from
the bottom of my heart,-- "Carrie darling, I was a proud man when I led
you down the aisle of the church on our wedding-day; that pride will be
equalled, if not surpassed, when I lead my dear, pretty wife up to the
Lord and Lady Mayoress at the Mansion House." I saw the tears in
Carrie's eyes, and she said: "Charlie dear, it is I who have to be proud
of you. And I am very, very proud of you. You have called me pretty;
and as long as I am pretty in your eyes, I am happy. You, dear old
Charlie, are not handsome, but you are GOOD, which is far more
noble." I gave her a kiss, and she said: "I wonder if there will be any
dancing? I have not danced with you for years."
I cannot tell what induced me to do it, but I seized her round the waist,
and we were silly enough to be executing a wild kind of polka when
Sarah entered, grinning, and said: "There is a man, mum, at the door
who wants to know if you want any good coals." Most annoyed at this.
Spent the evening in answering, and tearing up again, the reply to the
Mansion House, having left word with Sarah if Gowing or Cummings
called we were not at home. Must consult Mr. Perkupp how to answer

the Lord Mayor's invitation.
May 1.--Carrie said: "I should like to send mother the invitation to look
at." I consented, as soon as I had answered it. I told Mr. Perkupp, at the
office, with a feeling of pride, that we had received an invitation to the
Mansion House; and he said, to my astonishment, that he himself gave
in my name to the Lord Mayor's secretary. I felt this rather discounted
the value of the invitation, but I thanked him; and in reply to me, he
described how I was to answer it. I felt the reply was too simple; but of
course Mr. Perkupp knows best.
May 2.--Sent my dress-coat and trousers to the little tailor's round the
corner, to have the creases taken out. Told Gowing not to call next
Monday, as we were going to the Mansion House. Sent similar note to
Cummings.
May 3.--Carrie went to Mrs. James, at Sutton, to consult about her
dress for next Monday. While speaking incidentally to Spotch, one of
our head clerks, about the Mansion House, he said: "Oh, I'm asked, but
don't think I shall go." When a vulgar man like Spotch is asked, I feel
my invitation is considerably discounted. In the evening, while I was
out, the little tailor brought round my coat and trousers, and because
Sarah had not a shilling to pay for the pressing, he took them away
again.
May 4.--Carrie's mother returned the Lord Mayor's invitation, which
was sent to her to look at, with apologies for having upset a glass of
port over it. I was too angry to say anything.
May 5.--Bought a pair of lavender kid-gloves for next Monday, and
two white ties, in case one got spoiled in the tying.
May 6, Sunday.--A very dull sermon, during which, I regret to say, I
twice thought of the Mansion House reception to-morrow.
May 7.--A big red-letter day; viz., the Lord Mayor's reception. The
whole house upset. I had to get dressed at half-past six, as Carrie
wanted the room to herself. Mrs. James had come up from Sutton to

help Carrie; so I could not help thinking it unreasonable that she should
require the entire attention of Sarah, the servant, as well. Sarah kept
running out of the house to fetch "something for missis," and several
times I had, in my full evening-dress, to answer the back-door.
The last time it was the greengrocer's boy, who, not seeing it was me,
for Sarah had not lighted the gas, pushed into my hands two cabbages
and half-a-dozen coal-blocks. I indignantly threw them on the ground,
and felt so annoyed that I so far forgot myself as to box the boy's ears.
He went away crying, and said he should summons me, a thing I would
not have happen