The Diary of a Nobody | Page 3

you by the dozen!"
I shut the door, and was giving Carrie to understand that this
disgraceful scene was entirely her fault, when there was a violent
kicking at the door, enough to break the panels. It was the blackguard
butcher again, who said he had cut his foot over the scraper, and would
immediately bring an action against me. Called at Farmerson's, the
ironmonger, on my way to town, and gave him the job of moving the
scraper and repairing the bells, thinking it scarcely worth while to
trouble the landlord with such a trifling matter.
Arrived home tired and worried. Mr. Putley, a painter and decorator,
who had sent in a card, said he could not match the colour on the stairs,
as it contained Indian carmine. He said he spent half-a-day calling at
warehouses to see if he could get it. He suggested he should entirely
repaint the stairs. It would cost very little more; if he tried to match it,
he could only make a bad job of it. It would be more satisfactory to him
and to us to have the work done properly. I consented, but felt I had
been talked over. Planted some mustard-and-cress and radishes, and
went to bed at nine.
April 10.--Farmerson came round to attend to the scraper himself. He
seems a very civil fellow. He says he does not usually conduct such
small jobs personally, but for me he would do so. I thanked him, and
went to town. It is disgraceful how late some of the young clerks are at
arriving. I told three of them that if Mr. Perkupp, the principal, heard of
it, they might be discharged.
Pitt, a monkey of seventeen, who has only been with us six weeks, told
me "to keep my hair on!" I informed him I had had the honour of being
in the firm twenty years, to which he insolently replied that I "looked
it." I gave him an indignant look, and said: "I demand from you some
respect, sir." He replied: "All right, go on demanding." I would not
argue with him any further. You cannot argue with people like that. In
the evening Gowing called, and repeated his complaint about the smell
of paint. Gowing is sometimes very tedious with his remarks, and not

always cautious; and Carrie once very properly reminded him that she
was present.
April 11.--Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. To-day was
a day of annoyances. I missed the quarter-to-nine 'bus to the City,
through having words with the grocer's boy, who for the second time
had the impertinence to bring his basket to the hall- door, and had left
the marks of his dirty boots on the fresh- cleaned door-steps. He said he
had knocked at the side door with his knuckles for a quarter of an hour.
I knew Sarah, our servant, could not hear this, as she was upstairs doing
the bedrooms, so asked the boy why he did not ring the bell? He replied
that he did pull the bell, but the handle came off in his hand.
I was half-an-hour late at the office, a thing that has never happened to
me before. There has recently been much irregularity in the attendance
of the clerks, and Mr. Perkupp, our principal, unfortunately choose this
very morning to pounce down upon us early. Someone had given the
tip to the others. The result was that I was the only one late of the lot.
Buckling, one of the senior clerks, was a brick, and I was saved by his
intervention. As I passed by Pitt's desk, I heard him remark to his
neighbour: "How disgracefully late some of the head clerks arrive!"
This was, of course, meant for me. I treated the observation with
silence, simply giving him a look, which unfortunately had the effect of
making both of the clerks laugh. Thought afterwards it would have
been more dignified if I had pretended not to have heard him at all.
Cummings called in the evening, and we played dominoes.
April 12.--Mustard-and-cress and radishes not come up yet. Left
Farmerson repairing the scraper, but when I came home found three
men working. I asked the meaning of it, and Farmerson said that in
making a fresh hole he had penetrated the gas-pipe. He said it was a
most ridiculous place to put the gas-pipe, and the man who did it
evidently knew nothing about his business. I felt his excuse was no
consolation for the expense I shall be put to.
In the evening, after tea, Gowing dropped in, and we had a smoke
together in the breakfast-parlour. Carrie joined us later, but did not stay
long, saying the smoke was too much for her. It was also rather too

much for