The Devils Dictionary | Page 8

morose, and unaffable -- wild! See
how he glares through the bars of his cell! With Citizen Mendicant all is not well.
Why did they put him there, father?
Because Obeying his belly he struck at the laws.
His belly?
Oh, well, he was starving, my boy -- A state in which, doubtless, there's little of joy. No
bite had he eaten for days, and his cry Was "Bread!" ever "Bread!"
What's the matter with pie?
With little to wear, he had nothing to sell; To beg was unlawful -- improper as well.
Why didn't he work?
He would even have done that, But men said: "Get out!" and the State remarked: "Scat!" I
mention these incidents merely to show That the vengeance he took was uncommonly
low. Revenge, at the best, is the act of a Siou, But for trifles --
Pray what did bad Mendicant do?
Stole two loaves of bread to replenish his lack And tuck out the belly that clung to his
back.

Is that all father dear?
There's little to tell: They sent him to jail, and they'll send him to -- well, The company's
better than here we can boast, And there's --
Bread for the needy, dear father?
Um -- toast.
Atka Mip
BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
BEHAVIOR, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding. The word
seems to be somewhat loosely used in Dr. Jamrach Holobom's translation of the
following lines from the Dies Irae:
Recordare, Jesu pie, Quod sum causa tuae viae. Ne me perdas illa die.
Pray remember, sacred Savior, Whose the thoughtless hand that gave your Death-blow.
Pardon such behavior.
BELLADONNA, n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking
example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
BENEDICTINES, n. An order of monks otherwise known as black friars.
She thought it a crow, but it turn out to be A monk of St. Benedict croaking a text.
"Here's one of an order of cooks," said she -- "Black friars in this world, fried black in the
next."
"The Devil on Earth" (London, 1712)
BENEFACTOR, n. One who makes heavy purchases of ingratitude, without, however,
materially affecting the price, which is still within the means of all.
BERENICE'S HAIR, n. A constellation (Coma Berenices) named in honor of one who
sacrificed her hair to save her husband.
Her locks an ancient lady gave Her loving husband's life to save; And men -- they
honored so the dame -- Upon some stars bestowed her name.
But to our modern married fair, Who'd give their lords to save their hair, No stellar
recognition's given. There are not stars enough in heaven.
G.J.
BIGAMY, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a
punishment called trigamy.

BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not
entertain.
BILLINGSGATE, n. The invective of an opponent.
BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no
uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea
was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up
out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was
derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son
of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.
BLACKGUARD, n. A man whose qualities, prepared for display like a box of berries in
a market -- the fine ones on top -- have been opened on the wrong side. An inverted
gentleman.
BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters -- the most difficult kind of English
verse to write acceptably; a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot
acceptably write any kind.
BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young
physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker. The
hyena.
"One night," a doctor said, "last fall, I and my comrades, four in all, When visiting a
graveyard stood Within the shadow of a wall.
"While waiting for the moon to sink We saw a wild hyena slink About a new-made grave,
and then Begin to excavate its brink!
"Shocked by the horrid act, we made A sally from our ambuscade, And, falling on the
unholy beast, Dispatched him with a pick and spade."
Bettel K. Jhones
BONDSMAN, n. A fool who, having property of his own, undertakes to become
responsible for that entrusted to another to a third.
Philippe of Orleans wishing to appoint one of