The Cyberpunk Fak | Page 7

is hot as h*ck, but sweating is better than not?looking cool. Non-cyber ravers favor floppy hats, five?kinds of plaid 'n' paisley, and multiple organ piercings.?They sometimes take raver drugs. These drugs make you fonder of other people than you really want to be. (The morningafter?Revulsion hangovers can be nasty.) In this scene,?pretending to be on raver drugs is recommended, and easy,?too. Unfocus your eyes and smile lovingly. In black leather you won't have to worry so much about getting hugged.
>>>>Academic Cyber-Wannabes?Students, teachers, whatever, dress down. Like you're always en route to a garage sale...maybe to donate what you're?wearing. Casual. Jeans, black leather jacket, laser?pointer. No tweed, notice, and no Birkenshtocken. If you?flash paperbacks by Arthur Kroker, Paul Virilio and Jean?Baudrillard, it means you're serious. Paperbacks by Mark?Leyner and Kathy Acker means you're *way past* serious.
>>>>Cybercowboys/grrrls?Some of these people come from Texas or Oklahoma. In this crew, to yr cyberbasics you add a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and grow any hair you've got really LONG. Males should try to get hair somewhere on their faces.
>>>>Science Fiction Writers?Full-steam straight-ahead hard edge, with a permanent sneer. Just to twist heads, some males writers go for the Tom Wolfe effete look-- blue blazer and wing-tips. Still they sneer.
>>>>Web Crawlers and Other Bourgeois Types?You don't really care about this one, do you? You do? Subscribe to WIRED. Next.
>>>>Deep Geek:?Supernerds, Hackers, Wizards, Phone Phreakers?Things get difficult here. Deep geekware is unstandard.?Very heavy Wizards can look like accountants, or like?streetpeople. Facial hair and Goodwill Casual happen a lot. Chubby happens too, since these guys don't do enough?dancing in leather pants. To get along in this scene, you?really need to be very smart, very funny, or very sexy. To work yourself up to smart at least, learn UNIX. Or carry?the 2600 zine in your back pocket and read that. Practice?being technical. But until you get good, wear your?cyberbasics and never leave home without your laser pointer. This will draw the admiration of people who don't know any?better, which has its own rewards. Leading us inevitably to the final category...
>>>>Phonies, Poseurs and Pretenders:?Taking the Easy Way In?Don't think: scheme! Forget about reading books, buy no?computers or widgets. Don't do or buy anything. Save all?your money for clothes and art materials. Make your?girl/boyfriend help you assemble your hi-tek models-- you're gonna need mockups of a laptop computer, a personal?communicator, a beeper, maybe even a fake stun-gun. Realism is key. Then wear them all with *attitude*. You're better than real. Strut. Sneer. Remember the 3 disses: distrust, disrespect, distroy. Wait, that's not right, is it?
We know there are going to be mutterings about this category. Grumblings that being a poseur is not as easy as we think.?A poseur has a lot of overhead-- in worry, just for starts-- what if you're exposed as <>? And staying locked to the HOTWIRED Website to catch what you should be?imitating? Dang.

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