The Big Town | Page 3

last bottle in the world. Anyway, when he got
through they was international prohibition.
We went back in the ballroom and sure enough he ast Katie to dance.
But he hadn't no sooner than win one fall when his wife challenged him
to take her home and that started the epidemic that emptied the house
of everybody but the orchestra and us. The orchestra had been hired to
stay till midnight, which was still two hours and a half distance, so I
invited both of the gals to dance with me at once, but it seems like they
was surfeited with that sport and wanted to cry a little. Well, the
musicians had ran out of blues, so I chased them home.
"Some party!" I said, and the two girls give me a dirty look like it was
my fault or something. So we all went to bed and the ladies beat me to
it on account of being so near ready.
Well, they wasn't no return engagements even hinted at and the only
other times all winter when the gals had a chance to dress up was when
some secondhand company would come to town with a show and I'd
have to buy a box. We couldn't ask nobody to go with us on account
of not having no friends that you could depend on to not come in their
stocking feet.
Finally it was summer and the Mrs. said she wanted to get out of town.
"We've got to be fair to Kate," she said.
"We don't know no young unmarried people in South Bend and it's no
fun for a girl to run round with her sister and brother-in-law. Maybe if
we'd go to some resort somewheres we might get acquainted with
people that could show her a good time."
So I hired us rooms in a hotel down to Wawasee Lake and we stayed
there from the last of June till the middle of September. During that
time I caught a couple of bass and Kate caught a couple of carp from
Fort Wayne. She was getting pretty friendly with one of them when
along come a wife that he hadn't thought was worth mentioning. The
other bird was making a fight against the gambling fever, but one night

it got the best of him and he dropped forty-five cents in the nickel
machine and had to go home and make a new start.
About a week before we was due to leave I made the remark that it
would seem good to be back in South Bend and get some home
cooking.
"Listen!" says my wife. "I been wanting for a long wile to have a
serious talk with you and now's as good a time as any. Here are I and
Sis and you with an income of over eight thousand dollars a year and
having pretty near as good a time as a bird with habitual boils. What's
more, we can't never have a good time in South Bend, but have got to
move somewhere where we are unknown."
"South Bend is certainly all of that," I said.
"No, it isn't," said the Mrs. "We're acquainted there with the kind of
people that makes it impossible for us to get acquainted with the other
kind. Kate could live there twenty years and never meet a decent man.
She's a mighty attractive girl, and if she had a chance they's nobody she
couldn't marry. But she won't never have a chance in South Bend. And
they's no use of you saying 'Let her move,' because I'm going to keep
her under my eye till she's married and settled down. So in other words,
I want us to pack up and leave South Bend for good and all and move
somewhere where we'll get something for our money."
"For instance, where?" I ast her.
"They's only one place," she said; "New York City."
"I've heard of it," said I, "but I never heard that people who couldn't
enjoy themselves on eight thousand a year in South Bend could go to
New York and tear it wide open."
"I'm not planning to make no big splurge," she says. "I just want to be
where they's Life and fun; where we can meet real live people. And as
for not living there on eight thousand, think of the families that's
already living there on half of that and less!"

"And think of the Life and fun they're having!" I says.
"But when you talk about eight thousand a year," said the Mrs., "why
do we have to hold ourselves to that? We can sell some of those bonds
and spend a little of our principal. It will just be taking money out of
one investment and putting it in