The Big Town | Page 2

with the Allies, but I can't land a one."
I guess he was trying to sell razor strops to Russia.
Even after we got into it and he begin to clean up, with the factory
running day and night, all as we knew was that he had contracts with
the U. S. Government, but he never confided in us what special stuff he
was turning out. For all as we knew, it may of been medals for the
ground navy.
Anyway, he must of been hitting a fast clip when the armistice come
and ended the war for everybody but Congress! It's a cinch he wasn't
amongst those arrested for celebrating too loud on the night of
November 11. On the contrary they tell me that when the big news hit
Niles the old bird had a stroke that he didn't never recover from, and
though my wife and Katie hung round the bedside day after day in the
hopes he would tell how much he was going to leave he was keeping
his fiscal secrets for Oliver Lodge or somebody, and it wasn't till we
seen the will that we knew we wouldn't have to work no more, which is
pretty fair consolation even for the loss of a stepfather-in-law that ran a
perfume mill.
"Just think," said my wife, "after all his financial troubles, Papa died a
rich man!"
"Yes," I said to myself, "and a patriot. His only regret was that he just
had one year to sell leather to his country."
If the old codger had of only been half as fast a salesman as his two
daughters this clipping would of been right when it called me a wealthy
Hoosier. It wasn't two weeks after we seen the will when the gals had
disposed of the odor factory and the old home in Niles, Michigan. Katie,
it seemed, had to come over to South Bend and live with us. That was
agreeable to me, as I figured that if two could live on eighteen hundred
dollars a year three could struggle along some way on the income off
one hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

Only for me, though, Ella and Sister Kate would of shot the whole wad
into a checking account so as the bank could enjoy it wile it lasted. I
argued and fought and finally persuaded them to keep five thousand
apiece for pin money and stick the rest into bonds.
The next thing they done was run over to Chi and buy all the party
dresses that was vacant. Then they come back to South Bend and
wished somebody would give a party. But between you and I the
people we'd always ran round with was birds that was ready for bed as
soon as they got home from the first show, and even though it had been
printed in the News-Times that we had fell heir to a lot of jack we
didn't have to hire no extra clerical help to tend to invitations received
from the demi-Monday.
Finally Ella said we would start something ourselves. So she got a lot
of invitations printed and sent them to all our friends that could read
and hired a cater and a three-piece orchestra and everything, and made
me buy a dress suit.
Well, the big night arrived and everybody come that had somebody to
leave their baby with. The hosts wore evening clothes and the rest of
the merrymakers prepared for the occasion with a shine or a clean
collar. At first the cat had everybody's tongue, but when we sat down to
eat some of the men folks begun to get comical. For instance, they
would say to my wife or Katie, "Ain't you afraid you'll catch cold?"
And they'd say to me, "I didn't know you was a waiter at the Oliver."
Before the fish course everybody was in a fair way to get the giggles.
After supper the musicians come and hid behind a geranium and played
a jazz. The entire party set out the first dance. The second was a solo
between Katie and I, and I had the third with my wife. Then Kate and
the Mrs. had one together, wile I tried holds with a lady named Mrs.
Eckhart, who seemed to think that somebody had ast her to stand for a
time exposure. The men folks had all drifted over behind the plant to
watch the drummer, but after the stalemate between Mrs. Eckhart and I,
I grabbed her husband and took him out in the kitchen and showed him
a bottle of bourbon that I'd been saving for myself, in the hopes it
would loosen him up. I told him it was my last bottle, but he must of

thought I said it was the